TFO Farm Journal

A Saint Patrick's Day Gift

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 00:38:13 GMT

An Elderly Woman's Journey with Horses...and LIFE!

I met Carol many years ago! We were both volunteering at the Therapeutic Riding Equestrian Center (TREC, now known as Hope on Horseback ) in northwestern, PA. There are many things I love about my friend, Carol, but I have to say that her prolifically clear and poignant way with words delights me to no end! She recently sent me the following text. She wrote me, out of the blue today, on St. Paddy's Day, 2026 . Although good friends, we have tread separate paths for about 10 years or so. She just thought of me after all those years, and decided to re-connect, by text. I'm so glad she did! That's right, she sent me this glorious message via text messages, all in the span of one hour! WoW! That lady can write!

I wanted to share it here, because the incredible value of people like Carol - by her own observation and awareness - don't often get noticed for their stellar worth. I challenge YOU to read her words - all of them - below and I dare you to pan for the 24-carot nuggets tucked into every sentence, like the proverbial pot-o-gold at the end of the rainbow! When you do, please leave a comment and I will make sure Carol sees it.

A Saint Patrick's Day Pot-O-Gold Gift To You

Carol says...

I still give you A LOT of credit for my still being able to walk today. I was so scared getting on that horse. If you had not taken the time to come help me, I might still be stuck on that horse unable to move, to ride, or to get off.

I will be 82 years in April and am starting a little vegetable 12 inch raised garden bed plus some growing bags this summer, my new project. I still live in the house independently, no car, ordering everything on line to be delivered.

I have a therapy dog, border collie/ Australian shep mix, for companionship, protection, and emotional support that I trained as a pup.

Recently I had a fracture that threatened my mobility so I still do daily PT, but life is good. I never stopped walking. Thank you so much for much needed support at a tough time in my life. Peace. �� Carol Feeney and Shiloh

Carol says some more...

Oh, my grandson is still walking with his spina bifida, definitely with the early help of equine therapy. He is 16 yrs., with his learner's permit to drive.

I am so glad to see the farm and your work is still in operation. I am sorry that my support to you has been so limited except for a thank you.

Just know that you and your work has changed so many lives for the better. I know God is with you in all that you do.��

Yes, you may [use my words to share online] . I was just praying and thought about you. I hope all is well. If I had a car, I would have kept coming to the [Too Far Out] farm, a very special place. Being there is a very special memory in my memory bank.

The wind storm, 60 degree temps, then 24 hrs. later lake effect snow, has me doing PT this morning, now resting, sorting out thoughts until I bake this afternoon. The wind blew my garden bed frames off their location. I started the project early as I move A LOT slower. I guess, I was thinking of how my mobility abilities have gotten this far, the determination to not give up, and start again when weather permits.

Much of what I do seems totally insane to other people my age. I have painted rooms inside the house and 1/2 the outside of the house painting only about 45 mins. on good weather days.

My son said he and his friend could do it in a day, but I consider it all part of my hard core PT, just like the equine therapy was, although people didn't understand that either.

I am totally convinced that equine and dog therapy works. I think garden therapy will work, too.

Some people will never understand our commitment, but if God inspires us, we do it.��

I am still knitting dolls for the Shriner kids and prayer shawls. I will send you a few of my drawings, but right now, I am just coloring mandalas in adult mandala coloring books to relax. An exercise in focus, concentration, muscle discipline, and color.

My PTS got so bad that I only trusted animals and definitely not the medical profession and insurance. My life could have gone in a whole other direction.

Now, I have a very active life in so many ways even though quite physically limited. People most often only see what I can't do, not what I can.

Horses have an intelligence that understands all that in a way that no human does nor wants to. So does my dog. Thus, I am quite the advocate for animal therapy.

I learned A LOT from those horses that empowered me emotionally and physically. So, to encourage you, I am sharing.

It can get discouraging that most people do not understand this or I just don't know the right people.��

I can't reach this painting and get closer, so you will have to zoom in. [In reference to the photo of artwork on the shelf, IMAGE. #4] My daughter bought me a book on the mandala form that exists in nature and all cultures use it in their art. There are rose windows in Churches that are a mandala in form. I attended a seminar at the Erie Art Museum done by an Eastern monk who did sand mandalas.

I love color and design, so it just clicked with me. I started painting them, entered 3 in the Art Museum art show which didn't get in as expected, but I had to try.

This painting symbolizes me and Kian when I was daily caring for him. He is the smaller mandala, me the larger one taking care of him. The yellow in the upper corner is the sun representing God watching over us, the blue is the sky, of course, and the lower area green grass and brown earth. Simple design really, but fun to do.

I did this drawing when I was studying English literature at Gannon in graduate school. For some reason a lit. assignment had me doing this and another sketch?! (instead of writing, lol)

I haven't done a lot of art, but it is an expression that I use sometimes. I have very little intellectual knowledge of art, just what I do and is part of me.

I wanted to do religious art to express my spirituality. When OVR sent me to Mercyhurst to study art, religious art was not part of their art program. I had to quit studying to employ myself and earn a living in child care. I had to quit studying literature because of lack of money, too. I have a very eclectic past life.

Debbie says...

All I can say is thank you, Carol! You have no idea how timely your encouragement is to me today. Or maybe you do! You did say you thought of me while you were praying. (Who put the thoughts there, anyways? Probably the One you were seeking in that moment...) God knows and He orders our steps... or directs our fingers on a smartphone keyboard, as the case may be.

If anyone reading this blog post would like to hear more from Carol at this inter-web-space, please leave her some encouragement in the comments and we will see what Our Heavenly Father does with your words of encouragement!

Double R Faith

Sat, 30 Dec 2023 20:39:24 GMT

Growth is possible. It becomes probable when it is intentional.

Where there is life, there is hope. Growth is possible. It becomes probable when it is intentional. It matters what you believe. Seek truth.

The year 2023 proved to be a year of tremendous growth and new starts. Here are the highlights for our family, but if you wish to read the entire TFO Farm Family letter, you may download it here: [2023 TFO FARM FAMILY LETTER]

January: Katelyn and Deb delivered cookies to neighbors by horseback.
February: Mike & Deb started a new book study: How People Grow, by Henry Cloud
March: Visited family near Seattle, WA
April: Deb spoke to the PA Equine Council about the Equine-Assisted Learning program at TFO Farm.
May: TFO Farm FoR-HiM E.A.L. programs and Volunteer Roundups resumed
June: Mike re-homed 5 sheep. Deb renewed her PATH Certification.
July: Happy Trails Vacation Bible School at TFO Farm.
August: Found our next new horse! Madeline turned one year old.
September: Mike received a healing from skin cancer!
October: We brought our new filly home! Her name is Double-R-Faith.
November: Mike starts his driving ministry.
December: Deb begins training the new filly.

Making the List

Wed, 19 Jan 2022 19:44:57 GMT

Our Gratitude List

What's on OUR gratitude list?

YOU, of course!
Thank you for your generous prayers, volunteerism and financial support in 2021. In our 12-year history of serving Jesus through equine-assisted-services, 2021 was the first year for us to solicit tax-deductible donations from our community. We made the decision to ask for community support, so we could grow and reach more people in more meaningful ways. As a ministry we hit 73% of our 2021 fundraising goal, enabling us to reach more families and in deeper ways than we could in past years. We think that is a great start!

Although we did not get to serve as many families as we would have liked in 2021, we surely thank God for our "humble beginnings," and we thank YOU, our community partners for your faithfulness to pray, give and volunteer.

These are the blessings we experienced, because of our Father's generous grace in 2021. This is our gratitude list...

We connected with many new friends & partners and continued in Jesus' ministry, deepening ties with old friends too.
TFO Family Ministries developed and launched the first level of the Foundations of Recovery Horsemanship Program in partnership with Community Arts Experience, Inc.
The Word of God positively impacted the lives of families in Crawford & Mercer Counties thru God's anointing of TFO Family Ministries at Too Far Out Farm LLC.
Families that would not have otherwise been able to experience the healing power of Jesus thru horsemanship, embarked on some wonderful farm-life adventures and we witnessed their joyous and miraculous breakthroughs.
We and our dog, cats, sheep & horses ate and were sheltered and enjoyed all the other necessities of life every single day of the year.
We enjoyed good health: Mike recovered fully from Covid and Debbie did not get it in 2021. Junior and Prince recovered from Lymes Disease and all the other creatures on the farm managed to remain healthy all year long.
God blessed our employment efforts. Mike remained gainfully employed almost all season until he got Covid. Debbie found new employment outside the home, which almost covers the loss of income from when the CCP changed the rules disallowing foreign teachers to be hired by Chinese education companies.
We acquired some new material possessions like a new child's saddle for Clyde, a portable round-pen fencing system for when we travel with the horses to events and an engine replacement for our car, among many other things we needed and wanted.
We and our property survived a tornado and received so much help with the clean-up from new friends and old alike! (See photo above.)
Mike and I were blessed to be led by God to join a new church, much closer to home. Although we miss and still appreciate all our old friends in Titusville, we love, love, love the new friends and forever family we are making at Guys Mills Church!
We spent quality time with family & friends (four-legged & two) on a fun horse-camping weekend at Two-Mile County Park.
We received constant, clear and steady guidance from the Lord on how to navigate important decisions.

We expect great things from the Lord going forward, as the Holy Spirit leads in 2022. These are truly treacherous times, yet, without fail, Father God is meeting us where we are and showing us more and more just how much He loves us. Please reply this email and let us know your praise reports and prayer requests. We would love to hear from you. Share your struggles and victories. We will pray for you in 2022.

Happy Trails,
Mike & Deb Peterson

Balance

Sat, 23 Jan 2021 22:20:46 GMT

Truth and Grace Carries the Weight of Justice

"That's not fair!" Somebody, somewhere is probably crying these words right now. Somewhere in the soul of every man, woman and child is a deep longing for justice, but how do we satisfy our longing for justice in such a broken, often morally deplete world such as this? God is faithful to answer...

I am enjoying a time of fasting prayer. The Lord is faithful to increase my awareness of His closeness in this season. In particular, the Lord gave me an important lesson, which came in the form of an image of the "scales of justice." It has to do with balancing truth (or "rightly handling the word of truth" ~ 2 Tim. 2:15 ) and grace ("...it is the gift of God...." ~ Eph. 2:8 ) .

We have all likely heard the axiom, "Speak truth in love." After all, people do not care what you know, unless they know you care. The word of God (absolute truth) is a two-edged sword and it can hurt the Body if given without healing and saving grace (unlovingly). I aspire to make it a practice in my personal relationships to refrain from confronting anyone with their sin, unless and until I have gone to the Lord and laid my life down once again, repenting of my own sin, surrendering all malice, forgiving the other and humbly asking my Lord's permission and power to speak truth in love. Conversely, I would also be remiss to not do the same prior to offering someone charity and kindness , lest my impure motives spoil what could otherwise be a bountiful harvest. (See Hebrews 10:8-10 .)

Imagine, if you will that Jesus sits at the fulcrum of the scales. He is solid, stable, immoveable, strong and secure in that place. The world is represented by the horizontal arms (lever) of the scales. We, as believers in the world, are free to move to, from and across the arms at will. Let's say, for the sake of this illustration that TRUTH resides in the pan suspended from the left arm of the scale and GRACE resides in the right-hand pan. As we move across in the world, seeking to share the truth and grace of God, some are inclined to walk out onto the arm of truth while others are more inclined to walk out onto the arm of grace. Truth-walkers value knowledge most, and grace-walkers value forgiveness more. I submit to you that the safest AND most effective place to "call home" is in the center with Jesus. Only He can keep the scales balanced.

As He sends the grace-walker out, He will send a truth-walker out also, keeping the scales of the Kingdom perfectly balanced. In some instances, the grace-walker and truth-walker are one in the same person. Our Lord keeps the Church centered on Him and in balance for the most beneficial, effective and fruitful work of His ministry. He does this in the eternal, meaning He is not bound by time and space. The danger for individuals comes when one does not find center and rest in Him: learn His ways, move in His strength and wait for His timing. You see, I believe our relationship with God is moment-by-moment. Let us not get so caught up in our own interpretation of the vision that He has placed on our hearts and minds, so as to lose balance and fall right off, rendering ourselves ineffective for the sake of the Kingdom...

...But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls. ~ Hebrews 10:39

Jesus, a pure and innocent man sent by His Heavenly Father, Creator of the universe, willingly took on our sins, suffered, died and was buried, receiving the punishment that we deserved, but could not bear. Three days later, He rose from the dead, overcoming sin and death for our sakes. That's grace! But He did not stop there. When Jesus left Earth to sit at the right hand of the Father, the Holy Spirit was sent to be our comfort and our counselor, guiding us into all truth and empowering us to love God with all our hearts, minds and souls and heal a lost and broken world. That's love!

2020 Hindsight

Fri, 01 Jan 2021 22:15:52 GMT

A TFO Farm Year in Review...

Happy New Year to all the TFO Farm Journal Readers!

For our new year post, I thought I'd do a year in review of 2020. It is a brief glimpse into our personal family life here on the farm. One of the big take-aways that I have experienced as I recalled the events & activities of 2020 is how many new family members (4-legged & two) The Lord has added to our "adoptive" family over the years and how active all these ones are in the ebb-n-flow of our daily lives here on the farm. What amazing blessings all these "Kingdom family members" are to us! (Rather than filling up this journal entry with tons of images and making you sift through all our personal family photos, I decided to just link the photos, so if a particular caption intrigues you, you can just click on the links to view the accompanying pictures.) Enjoy!

JANUARY 2020

A new year to remember: 2020. https://photos.app.goo.gl/FgrASXoAJgDJe9uT9
A good one to memorize: https://photos.app.goo.gl/89E4iVAQqM94ipdt5
Thomas and the Birds! "Ack! He got it!!!" https://photos.app.goo.gl/ebzkHGpUpBsMJDWS7
Ahhhh, such great memories of Rosco! He was always up for some lovin' from Mike... https://photos.app.goo.gl/TpmPKo4QYvK8LFgYA
The traditional “last day” for Christmas celebrations at TFO is January 7th (Russian Christmas). https://photos.app.goo.gl/4qpHy9CeXgAP7Cwd6 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/Va3ZWQiyJqo4PoiE6
Always a good one to remember, especially when you feel like quitting. We have learned that quitting is not an option and Our Father makes sure we do not have to: https://photos.app.goo.gl/NQnGETmwzWPERQ2TA
No matter what is going on in the world, we ALWAYS get to eat. Our Heavenly Father makes sure of it! This was one of our weekly Celebrate Recovery home-cooked meals “under construction” at TFO Farm. https://photos.app.goo.gl/kYRsNj1GxMcWWrp17

FEBRUARY 2020

Horse kisses make it all worthwhile. https://photos.app.goo.gl/H2UCXqz43PgTX64W8
Happy, curious sheep. https://photos.app.goo.gl/k76cFouowJFxM3aEA
February 2020 was a cold one! https://photos.app.goo.gl/QQ8RURQcstoXoZgr8 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/EFkfEcjN1ygoAxTu7
Bathroom demolition taking too long! https://photos.app.goo.gl/U5ArHwRNCmVFzeQz5
Encouragement for overcoming the “dead-of-winter” February blues... https://photos.app.goo.gl/feLFceKhiXQswUHe8
Bathroom demolition almost complete. https://photos.app.goo.gl/MUTUXjMwUVq1NDbJ9
Continuing my education with Greg Kersten of The OK Corral where I received a certification in EAL/EAP at Crossroads Corral in Sanford, Florida. https://photos.app.goo.gl/dfRmNjkMhXvWv6Rv9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/xj4fNc2FnoU22cUPA Instructor, Greg Kersten. https://photos.app.goo.gl/HQ1DwMR6wir3qXB37 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/ryG9ZSH981xt1xxJ6
Yep, there was A LOT of this in 2020: https://photos.app.goo.gl/54ApjnWm4xP36CZx7
Winter is a great time to invest in yourself! Always continuing education: https://photos.app.goo.gl/R1 qCKphXETE77g3r5

MARCH

Receiving some love via USPS from the Seattle granddaughter, Addison! https://photos.app.goo.gl/ny3B8A2tu6VKkv7M9
Bandi found her forever home at TFO Farm. https://photos.app.goo.gl/MXG5oGNcCWKUhhMw8
The St. Louis grands arrive for their spring visit! https://photos.app.goo.gl/quUEbfQWeUXiApnJ8
Deb visits St. Louis! https://photos.app.goo.gl/bdUV551vW3xF6TwQA
TFO bathroom renovation gets underway. https://photos.app.goo.gl/UZrnNPt93TLYhRYk8 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/FFLZ3xVckN7PXBTp7 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/JidGEmv1igXdupcS9 CAUTION: Construction zone. https://photos.app.goo.gl/ppmQENrTzAC9e6k86
Keeping recovery and soul health on the top of our priority list... https://photos.app.goo.gl/vJi11dNqnVxpZfo88

APRIL 2020

This verse spoke to us in April! https://photos.app.goo.gl/K8vvMSF4rXL1atgZ8
God provided some much-needed beds, just in the nick of time! https://photos.app.goo.gl/1vtAWquoJwxd2Ngx8
New grands! Wow! A dream come true, but BETTER! https://photos.app.goo.gl/xoewzDyHWw2aw1o69
They lived with us for the entire month of April! https://photos.app.goo.gl/SGFpN7i433tdfvLi6
Getting our alone time and rest at Chapman Dam. https://photos.app.goo.gl/kTvj3o68gSpZxis68 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/eJzxtfwLY7it4Wnc6 , Mike can be so romantic! https://photos.app.goo.gl/9PFaYCgLfLh957uW6 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/HqAm5MAtyMAaq6Dj , https://photos.app.goo.gl/oje5P8yMCY6x4roP8 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/Be9qnMFMfK54CL2h6
Horsing Around. https://photos.app.goo.gl/YZs77VGtsknxWoyu5
It wasn't all fun & games; sometimes we hurt each other. God is faithful to remind us to be humble and LOVE ALWAYS WINS when we forgive! https://photos.app.goo.gl/dVxiR1knBCAomnAU6 (Puppy is not ours, but we continue to pray for one just like her to find her forever home with us at TFO Farm!)
Easter at TFO Farm. https://photos.app.goo.gl/sqZKWpHo1vbekbgv9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/f3jsgk7kZxnAEQcr7 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/xKPiJ7P2pf65u8kL7
We became foster parents and adopted some more grandchildren! https://photos.app.goo.gl/Eet3XnQ2CFW4FA426
Junior is still my bestie beastie. https://photos.app.goo.gl/QPxBRmTgMWwByVXD9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/BWyaUU8P7doEnL7w5

MAY 2020

Our St. Louis family. https://photos.app.goo.gl/67UvxLNUc66tL7UB7
Our St. Louis girls. https://photos.app.goo.gl/Kzz9WErdZo4ugPvLA
Our Seattle Chef Addision. https://photos.app.goo.gl/3tuMYFf59SCgJQFJ9
Open PA Rally in Meadville. https://photos.app.goo.gl/Xy4R53sK8mLckD437 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/tPLq7FaC54hV55ou6 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/neibWkSWhNxTTsJv6
Just weird, but ok! (I think..?) https://photos.app.goo.gl/2TpUtDmGtvzSTxqN6
A sobering reminder... https://photos.app.goo.gl/at1KV4nZQcatd1xC8
Always, we prosper by inviting Him in... https://photos.app.goo.gl/eTdHNRvXYh9n2aF6A
Our niece, Lucia graduated from Fairview High School in 2020! https://photos.app.goo.gl/Exfkb1jgJ4bx3mnCA
Junior! https://photos.app.goo.gl/c1pJ72gJAoXEmrTZ8
Meet Bandit's Moonlight... https://photos.app.goo.gl/yNxsfYmpeV9qUpkL9
Bandi after 6 weeks at TFO Farm: https://photos.app.goo.gl/v4pbDbm4iC8T6XBK9
ALWAYS! https://photos.app.goo.gl/pZwhB34ApZ8BtZTV6
Open PA Rally in Harrisburg. https://photos.app.goo.gl/dam2AEYYYLY6zqHi6 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/VVvxfQKpoBBC2yTA6 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/d3b3c8gv2ePKSrMk8 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/3Cvz6H9GcZgGwn2GA , https://photos.app.goo.gl/DNguyXgTajL5S5UP8 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/w8c4A8rgUZpCnyxr6 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/Dwd1BmchofB1JRSe9
God says... https://photos.app.goo.gl/rhvozHM2HhMjLriNA
My daughter, Julia is severely tested in 2019-20 and love wins her battles for her. https://photos.app.goo.gl/DfYi78vcSgz8UaZR8
Deb's birthday gift from St. Louis fam! Wow!!! https://photos.app.goo.gl/ivn3XBjBwHWJDVgx5
Leek & fiddle-head hunting in May. https://photos.app.goo.gl/UXan7XuymW7Cust5A , https://photos.app.goo.gl/UVXaHEVNfmDbHktK9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/gQgdnJNsTsy3UGcu7
Covid-19 slaps us in the face. https://photos.app.goo.gl/9gcwiHovfVtemLh56
In 2020, we often struggled to even know the truth, BUT for the grace of God, His word never fails... https://photos.app.goo.gl/1VLVatdJfZwLPfzQ8

JUNE

Clyde at work doing what he does with the kids. https://photos.app.goo.gl/Jt2NtZPZLG4YLssz9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/Ye7WcJ8h7qVhybq96 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/yPuQZR8FeEpnGbCw9
This pretty much sums up 2020, so far, for us! https://photos.app.goo.gl/Jgcv3mxUWRfPMyfi8
Mike survived a heart attack! Praise God!!! https://photos.app.goo.gl/EvC9QqJ6rum3HYDQ9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/cxXk6xMBWjxjHe6j7 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/yYGwvjzvH8yNsbex6
Finally, we can paint! https://photos.app.goo.gl/1Dy2SCDTD3Ap5ZNu7
With the purchase of our 2002 Tacoma, we can now take the canoe out. https://photos.app.goo.gl/4M9DNse81SVffc2ZA , On the Shenango River with friends, Ben/Lynn Z., Silvio M., Paul K., Brandi B. & others.
Deb played a lot of early morning tic-tac-toe with her Chinese ESL students. https://photos.app.goo.gl/Cb4mYzrBzQtmhddR7 , I followed lesson plans too. https://photos.app.goo.gl/9xGoK6eWJpCCM39D6

JULY

The SECOND baby Robin of the season that fell out of the nest right into Katelyn's hand! https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zeu3bDa3ZoXkFJnj7 ,
Meadville Area Rec. Center fun... https://photos.app.goo.gl/qNS8UFkbzBX5BJz27 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/RaNVVgJ7pqSGokei6 ...with the Cornell's! https://photos.app.goo.gl/Ud3XPZK9Kxo2Bzyw8
Rosco! We miss you! https://photos.app.goo.gl/nDD7uHKypYeRnUYM7
Barn cats, Merle & Festus. https://photos.app.goo.gl/cJrErcF4oM6hSkbs5
Clyde took one on the cheek from the big horses. Poor Clyde! The vet was called and 6 weeks later, he was good as new. https://photos.app.goo.gl/wqgavBGUCAQNZNZH6 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/uKWjZiJFPdNBWzsr9
Visiting Edinboro Lake with the Missouri kinfolk. https://photos.app.goo.gl/NXAxA6XAERSe4D1v8
Remembering our Washington kinfolk visit from last summer (2019). https://photos.app.goo.gl/1Kt2fgXTRYYxTfJA8
Lucy's grad party. https://photos.app.goo.gl/ctVbij5UjNL1z7vTA
Got 'im! These guys are hard to catch on camera. https://photos.app.goo.gl/3TSy9bRi69upSdX58
Visiting Gail & Leslie at Bear Creek, Ridgeway, PA. https://photos.app.goo.gl/pxieCrjkyqLziSbBA , https://photos.app.goo.gl/u614mFtsyFSQy4886 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/EpaBU99eZk9s9x788 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/gJBQ3ct1kewfoY4y8
Thomas. https://photos.app.goo.gl/NC1airunGLoASkyu5 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/iBu1ovsC4u5U3nCC9
Ah, summer at TFO Farm. https://photos.app.goo.gl/cYiQb4Yp9tmyQdt89
Celebrating our independence with fireflies, fireworks & funny sunglasses at New Beginnings Church, Mdvl. https://photos.app.goo.gl/36qvDbr8QUJ7vea67 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/Tm57CMmGeEWDrBcKA , https://photos.app.goo.gl/Pig7uyD6VSh4SrHX9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/d9TAAN93SqkaVyn68
Who turned 63 in 2020? https://photos.app.goo.gl/v6M5xHGU1QboWsaX7 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/eB6zr5KJ7Ds8wKwt5

AUGUST

Another Recovery Connection event. https://photos.app.goo.gl/QiqaBPcUeyFY7LsP9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/qzwWMTKQUcM29XKH9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/Af1bQ145gcuPqmV1A
Tried to launch the Foundations of Recovery. TWICE. (CCP effectively delayed our launch 2020, but we got a lot of work done and relationships built. WE WILL TRY AGAIN IN 2021.) https://photos.app.goo.gl/n6TSBD3UEMxZ1rsv7
Trying to eat healthier in 2020. Please pray for me! https://photos.app.goo.gl/JEkxNCYaLTyjBoqm9
The TFO herd, Clyde, Junior and Bandi. https://photos.app.goo.gl/EfuG1HLbvxyiUjx36
Foundation for Recovery at TFO Farm Volunteer Roundup. https://photos.app.goo.gl/HutR7pjPi9bh2w9w6 , The gang's all here... https://photos.app.goo.gl/mBuYi7bB7wgCHhuJ8 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/hCcwMmtcQZd51moN9 Lynnie! https://photos.app.goo.gl/qpwuxPJR4jQBGvDV9
Canoeing the Shenango again at a Recovery Connection event... https://photos.app.goo.gl/Vdwc5fs5GKmwJcJF8 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/LEjYJWteK67LRmZL8 ...with friends. https://photos.app.goo.gl/LUvDkHznXBEr9neZA , https://photos.app.goo.gl/7wU4mb1j2G6NYr4K6 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/J1NhioppLnbiE1hF6
More S.U.D. Training. https://photos.app.goo.gl/ejYdrkixhLGDzoYW7
Canoeing on Sugar Lake with Rosco. https://photos.app.goo.gl/y2PSgWhVMTMQCrQP9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/cDLLBeHLwGRMUQJk9
Canoeing at Pymatuning Lake with my sister, Yvonne. https://photos.app.goo.gl/KCxo9XcvdWMqrAsc9
Dog days of summer on the TFO Farm deck. https://photos.app.goo.gl/SF6jvpoSH2wJ9aESA
God always works it out for us – even when we doubt... https://photos.app.goo.gl/KJ3k9xGfqkWcXWUW6
Meeting up with daughter, Julia at the hotel for the grandkids' return trip home to Bridgeton, MO. https://photos.app.goo.gl/4oqp4L1BmyMxar5E8
Bison Park with the grands, Katelyn & Thomas. https://photos.app.goo.gl/jKz9A3HrXKhmkP7KA, https://photos.app.goo.gl/JjJxTqsSAvWY1gpo6
Creation Museum trip! https://photos.app.goo.gl/AZoixinBGnkCRyS88, https://photos.app.goo.gl/fKwL5361G24S9ddMA, https://photos.app.goo.gl/5Jqm17W4Qp5K4CCD7, https://photos.app.goo.gl/PJNQQc2ehXRnCZ9d8, https://photos.app.goo.gl/myb9V9r2U4LSqW7b6, https://photos.app.goo.gl/8XyMvREYvkL3pt689

SEPTEMBER

Tragically, Rosco broke his jaw, probably chasing cars. He could not be saved. Here we are in the car on the way to the doggie ER. https://photos.app.goo.gl/xqqcca5v4epM4rwg8 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/NnZHFfhERydfEkgLA
God son, Toby turned two at TFO Farm. https://photos.app.goo.gl/KpaiZDsz97datswL7 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/eQDAcS9mg8iUcJP67 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/rcH9bwuGWdnHChSX7 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/zotYNuVhLXnSN4HLA , https://photos.app.goo.gl/n3t1NUHLQndssa9p8
Clyde... again. https://photos.app.goo.gl/pJ3BPokESKC4yYtK7
TFO Farm gets some press. https://photos.app.goo.gl/WA4mbZ2PHK6214mdA (This therapeutic horsemanship program did not happen in 2020 as planned due to Deb contracting Corona Virus Pneumonia the week prior to the proposed Foundations of Recovery Program launch.)
Ashes to Beauty Conference in Lebonon, MO. https://photos.app.goo.gl/HHMwj6F9e2jiWaGo9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/KPfA249VX8XAAgog9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/8fG35WvJmf6RahY68
Canoeing French Creek. https://photos.app.goo.gl/fmbfbX7smdShR7DC9 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/bN3HTmkmhLruD8bF8 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/D5Cf639u3G2pgZuY7
Recovery Connection. https://photos.app.goo.gl/y1adj4JvU9jR6g6p7
TFO Farm Campfire with friends. https://photos.app.goo.gl/pywqPbE8CEiLpo6C8 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/c9EiAg8Puhe33GyS9 https://photos.app.goo.gl/K2fuWDBTmnAkVgVz6 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/kDCfyZT1pHa4GxhX7
Our “hipcamper” guests got engaged in our canoe on Sugar Lake! https://photos.app.goo.gl/f2MAyg3tavyAnTSA6 , https://www.hipcamp.com/pennsylvania/too-far-out-farm/too-far-out-farm
We waded through a lot of fake news this year! https://photos.app.goo.gl/1DM6EjcM3H3FT6KM8
We celebrated recovery as a community online in 2020. https://photos.app.goo.gl/bhzY54pWjk5ZjZzn6 I participated from my pasture and was honored to be asked to open the celebration with prayer. https://photos.app.goo.gl/7GFH4UcqKDaVP7cA8

OCTOBER

Dog sitting (Phoebe) for friends and babysitting our God son, Toby. https://photos.app.goo.gl/cVSBphj6nziu6zoT7
Me and my Missie doing what me and my Missie do when it is 60+ degrees in October! https://photos.app.goo.gl/Sg8S5Xy484haojb6A
Another Recovery Connection event. Such fun folks! https://photos.app.goo.gl/NwtTThTJa5tW2FHR6 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/fuuH7b6tHCu7Qbmi6
Words to live by if you want a truly ABUNDANT LIFE. https://photos.app.goo.gl/RaPhVGU2vfNpby1y6
Merle the cat. https://photos.app.goo.gl/HgtY7JRcNLhNdGEu8
More birthdays in our forever family. Lily turned 9! https://photos.app.goo.gl/BxNaCFPZjYs8UChm8 , Sophie turned 13! https://photos.app.goo.gl/XdnZMdinXzFkG9hF8
Clyde again. https://photos.app.goo.gl/DeZDa4QzfiaLnT1i7
This..! https://photos.app.goo.gl/Jh6oGRzNCeY1AjPa9
Deb's sister, Sherry married the love of her life, Dan! https://photos.app.goo.gl/heyrZZ4GkACznLk87 Unfortunately, we could not attend in person, because we were quarantining. https://photos.app.goo.gl/aVxtUM3ECVHsTj7s8
Getting hospitalized for Corona Virus Pneumonia... https://photos.app.goo.gl/7mywt2XaAyhW5qAj9 ...gave Deb plenty of time to re-read a favorite book. https://photos.app.goo.gl/sN3fVSDKvEFEpQCZ7 Mike lived in the driveway while we isolated from one another during my recovery from the virus. https://photos.app.goo.gl/ycjULrd4H879Dcyz7 Here is a link to the book that I like so much, in case you want to buy it from our Affiliate PRODUCTS page: https://www.toofaroutfarm.org/products#RecommendedBooks02

NOVEMBER

Nephew Zachary turned 30 on Thanksgiving Day. We wished him well from a distance, as he is one of the more vulnerable ones. https://photos.app.goo.gl/suioM4jHX5hJc9m77
Our Seattle granddaughter, Addison and granddog, Tillie. https://photos.app.goo.gl/YyZP7ryGo7RtsYoG9 ... and my son, Garrett, with his wife, Roxanne (and Addie & Tillie, of course). https://photos.app.goo.gl/cBj7YdQA7jzKqPo69
Our St. Louis family, Jim, Julia, Thomas & Katelyn. https://photos.app.goo.gl/mfdJRDKKWfa9wy9W8
The Christmas Cactus always signals the start of the holiday season. https://photos.app.goo.gl/TTsvDLqRm3hRatbJ7

DECEMBER 2020

A snowy December.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/WPcj5SHsakqqc3UV7 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/oNy5FB6WwpmXhAk57 , https://photos.app.goo.gl/EPJ8tptowJgSas3b6

Mike gave me a lovely Christmas gift. https://photos.app.goo.gl/6fKrNxUQShFLAoZ16

The Random Tandem Thoughts of God

Fri, 20 Nov 2020 16:54:29 GMT

...or maybe they're not so random after all.

Did you ever meet someone who reviles someone else so much that they will not even listen to a word that person says, much less give them thoughtful consideration? Or if the disdain is especially intense, the "reviler" only listens to soundbites or third-party snip-its of the other's words and draws conclusions filtered through their own ignorance of that person's "why" or "how" and becomes indifferent to their opponent and reacts to them with spiteful judgement and without regard for the other's perspective. That person has not love; only indifference.

There are some who hold God in this regard.

Gone unchecked, prejudice and bigotry begin with misunderstanding, regress to indifference and in some cases explode into violence. Nothing changes if nothing changes until one willing mind opens the way for truth and grace to flow. (See Romans 12:2) That kind of mind renewal requires a conscious decision to think differently.

In every interaction we choose either love or indifference. And in the case of a toxic pattern developing in a relationship, we may need to choose self-love for the greater good of the relationship and to bring about much-needed change. That is what God does here:

Then they will call upon me, but I will not answer;

they will seek me diligently but will not find me. ~Proverbs 1:28

Read that verse in context. Who are "they" and why won't God answer them? Seek to understand why God, who promises to never forsake you*, would say that ? Is God being ambivalent and random in His word? Read the entire first chapter of Proverbs and find out what in the world would cause a good God to essentially ignore ones who diligently seek Him. Go ahead. Read it. I'll wait...

What did you learn? Put it in the comments.

*Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” ~Hebrews 13:5

Effective Prayer

Thu, 13 Aug 2020 22:41:10 GMT

Am I righteous enough for God to answer?

Am I righteous enough for God to answer my prayers? Yes... and no. Apart from Christ, no, but in Christ, YES!

Let's assume ALL Christians talk to God. After all, it is one of the perks of being part of the family. Our Dad has an open-door policy and welcomes our daily communion and constant communication with Him. (See Luke 18:1 ) Even some non-Christians seek a divine, all-knowing power to whom they can make their requests known (See Isa. 45:20 ). It is all about the relationship, really! Talking to God is like talking to your spouse or child or parent or sister or friend. It is one of the things that make a relationship, a relationship. What would our relationships feel like if we never talked to one another? Pretty empty, lonely, even non-existent, right? So, we talk to God. We call that prayer.

...and God answers. The Bible says so, right? Well sort of. There is a qualifier - a condition. You will find it here: Ps. 4:3 , and here: James 5:16 , and here: Pro. 28:9 , Isa. 1:15-16 , Mt. 6:5 , and here too: Mark 11:24 . Did you catch that? What is the qualifier God sets for answering our prayers? We must be "godly" and "righteous."

I think Matthew gives the best clue about effective praying in the 21st chapter and 22nd verse. Look it up and note what it says, "...if you have faith." The godly and righteous believe.

Can we conclude that righteousness, obedience and faith are somehow linked and effectually synonymous or in the very least mutually dependent upon one another? It seems so. According to the writer of Hebrews 11:1, "faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." What are those things not seen? In most cases, the "things not seen" are the very things we are praying for, right? We seek God for answers. We seek His voice, His input, His action.

This morning I heard something interesting: "If you desire to hear the audible voice of God in your difficult situation (or anytime), try reading the Bible OUT LOUD."

"Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God.” (John 8:47)

The problem is not that God doesn't speak or guide or light our way. The problem is that we do not often WANT to hear and obey certain things... things like ALL TEN of the commandments. Sure 5 through 9 may seem doable (sometimes, maybe...?), but what about 10 or 1? How about when God tells us that fornication and adultery (sex outside of marriage) are dishonoring to Him? ( 1 Cor. 7:2 ) or telling that white lie? ( 2 Peter 2:1 )

Is one sin any less heartbreaking to God than another? Do we even think about God's heart breaking as we act on some sort of deceit, laziness, lustful desire or greed? We say, "but I am just human." Then we further justify ourselves by saying, "I must protect my pride, satisfy my flesh or fatten my pocketbook dishonestly," BUT... Jesus raises the bar even higher. He says things like what He said in Mt. 5:28 . Go ahead and look it up. [or just click here.] I'll wait.

Remember, praying is the divine interaction between man and God. What we often forget is that God gets to be God - ALWAYS. Our conversations with Him go two ways and yet, He is still God. He has our answer, whether we want to listen and take His advice (obey) or not.

Did that pinch...? Just a little? Or a lot?

There is good news! Jesus lived a perfect life in a human body. He is the only purely holy and wholly pure man to ever walk the earth. His assignment? Jesus, the totally innocent Son of God, WILLINGLY died a criminal's death. Yes, He was willing and He knew that THIS was His purpose on earth. His excruciating and sacrificial act removed from us the weight of sin, then as only God could do, He rose in power from the grave in three days and overcame the penalty for our sin, which is death. ( Romans 6 is a great read!)

The good news doesn't end there. Jesus is still praying for those who draw near to God! See John 17:9 and Hebrews 7:25 . He still prays for you and me. He has His Father's ear. After all, He is seated at the right hand of the father in Heaven. Here is what Jesus has told His Dad about us: "The glory which you have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one. I in them and you in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that you sent Me, and loved them, even as you have loved Me. Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given Me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which you have given Me, for you loved Me before the foundation of the world” ( John 17:22-24 ).

That's right. We are covered. By the Blood of the Lamb. By grace. By God. Simply BELIEVE.

Tell me how your prayers have been answered in the comments below. The world needs to know the word of your testimony! "And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death." ~ Rev. 12:11 ESV

Most Holy Places

Sat, 18 Jan 2020 20:20:58 GMT

My muse of Hebrews 9 (As a suggestion, read Hebrews 9 in the Bible.)

RECOMMENDED READING:

(As an Amazon Associate, TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website. There is no additional cost to you, but it helps us help others.)

I struggle this time of year. The shorter days and longer cold snaps temp me to despair. There, I said it. I made my confession: I am tempted to become depressed, anxious and slothful. I am tempted to hold daily pity parties when "conditions" do not meet my approval. Please pray for me according to James 5:16 !

BUT GOD...

In the spirit of 1 Corinthians 10:13 , which (not previously known to me), just happened to be the "Verse of the Day" on today's Bible Gateway app , I took the "way of escape" that is provided for me, and chose instead to persist in love. Specifically, for me today that meant I cracked open my Bible and my personal study notes and chose to receive His word in Hebrews 9. There must be some rich and bountiful nugget for me in there, because the devil sure is coming up against me in this commitment that I've made to study the book of Hebrews this winter. None-the-less, I'm here and I'm doing it. Thanks for coming along on the journey!

[Disclaimer: I am just an ordinary person. I do not claim to be a biblical scholar by any stretch. Anyone can do this - and should! My musings are just that - my musings. My conclusions are based on my limited knowledge. My understanding and wisdom is constantly being challenged by further study. I suggest you do your own study of the scriptures to get your questions answered and your own relationship with God deepened. I welcome your comments below.]

Here are my musings of Hebrews 9 (Please share your own in the comments, below) :

To fully grasp the tone of my muse, the back story must be iterated. The old covenant that God made with the the Hebrew people involved intricate instructions for the building and utilization of the portable tabernacle that they carried around with them as they wandered 40 years in the dessert. This structure had an outer holy place where the priests would enter and carry out their daily work. In this tent, beyond the first holy place was the MOST holy place, in which only the high priest could enter and only once a year. At this time the high priest would atone for the sins of himself and the people by sacrificing unblemished animals and sprinkling the blood on the precious and intricately crafted implements of worship. God provided very clear and specific directions on, not only the building and crafting of the tabernacle and its contents, but also on who and how this "holy place" should be used for the remission of sins for the people. It was God's intention to make this faulty first contract that required repeated, painstaking work by the Levitical priests and the high priest. I am astounded that God would go to such great lengths to prove to us that man cannot save his own eternal soul, but the old covenant does indeed effectively make that point clear. With that as our backdrop, the new covenant is all the more awesome and glorious, proving that man can do no thing in his own strength - not even when following God's instructions explicitly - to save himself. (The pride of man is a formidable challenge to overcome. Our God is most certainly patient!) Centuries later, Jesus' work on the Cross and His miraculous resurrection enacted the new and perfect covenant, once for all who will believe!

Verses 1 & 2: emphasize that God's first agreement (covenant), not completely unlike the new covenant, had specific parameters, regulations and instructions. To me, this indicates, among other things that God gets to make the rules, regarding the how & why of worship and service to Him. After all, He is the object of our worship and service. The requirements of a holy place, where He abides, are exclusively His to establish.
Verses 3 & 4: There seems to be degrees of holiness and the MOST holy place is made with materials of greater intrinsic value...
Verses 5-9 ...so there is a distinction made and a separation between the holy and the MOST holy . Furthermore, there is a coming and going in the first (or lesser) holy place, which corresponds to the present age. Is this referring to worldly, religious institutions, attitudes and traditions? Perhaps the implication here is that "lesser holy places" are indeed holy, yet not eternally holy, ie., flesh. (See the reference to the flesh in verse 13 and let me know your thoughts in the comments below.)
Verses 9 & 10: begins the description of why this old covenant is faulty and insufficient. [Caveat: I do believe that God intentionally made the old covenant faulty. By the example He demonstrated for us through the Israelites, we could begin to understand that our sins can in no way be blotted out by any work of mortal man, even works that are instructed by Him, as was the building of the Holy Tabernacle (the old covenant Holy of Holies). The solution of the sin issue required a very personal and total work of God Himself. See also my commentary on Hebrews 8:6 in the previous blog article of this series .]
Verse 11: Christ came as the High Priest through a tent "not of this creation" (not made with imperfect hands).
Verse 12: *Eternal redemption could only be secured by God Himself and not by the blood of animals.
Verses 13 & 14: tell that flesh was sanctified by lesser means, but verse 14 points to the deeper need for your conscience (the *eternal soul) to be purified (made holy, suitable and set apart) for presentation to and service of God.
Verses 15-17: Only Jesus Christ can mediate this superior new covenant. This passage compares the new covenant to a will, which promises an inheritance. As we know wills can only be put into effect after the one who made it dies, hence the need for Jesus to die, quite effectively subjugating believers as citizens of a new Kingdom ruled by Jesus, our mediator who advocates us to the Father under the precepts of the new covenant, for we failed to meet the obligations of the old one. That's grace!
Verses 18-24: Death and bloodshed were required; without bloodshed there is no forgiveness. Christ has entered the Most Holy Place into the very presence of God. Why? For our benefit!
Verses 25-28: Jesus' perfect sacrifice means there is no need for repeated deaths and bloodshed. He fulfilled the requirement once for all! He will appear again, BUT not to deal with our sin for that work is finished! He will appear again to save those of us who eagerly await for Him, from the coming judgement of the world.

Wow! That's a lot of theology packed in one chapter. This chapter brought the gospel into laser-like focus for me. Beyond theological knowledge, I am moved to practical application and absorption of the things I studied. Wisdom grows. Mercy abounds and grace flourishes in me - little... ole'... me. What does a thorough the study of His word do in you?

Below is an invitation to join Jesus and our little farm family in the Jesus journey at Too Far Out Farm . Please pray about it and if you live in or near Crawford County, Pennsylvania, feel free to "hook on" as a volunteer.

Here's your sign! Could it be your God call?

Please reach out to me by email at toofaroutfarm@yahoo.com , if YOU are interested in serving Jesus in a therapeutic horsemanship ministry in 2020. You may also visit our volunteer page to learn more. We need folks who are honest, open and willing to serve in the following ways:

Leadership team & program development/planning
Retreat staff/helpers
Help with fundraising
Wrangle horses
Play music and lead worship
Build stuff (obstacle course, and other program related projects)
Pray! We need prayer warriors!!!

TFO Farm Leadership Team...

The search is on for the team of volunteers who will design and implement a new therapeutic horsemanship program. Specifically, we are in search of volunteers with the following skills and/or interests (horse experience not required - we will train you):

Professional licensed therapists (LSW, LCDC, MC, etc.) or certified in the field of drug & alcohol therapy (CRC, CAS, CAC, etc.) to help develop the therapeutic aspect of this program.
Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy (E.A.A.T.) professionals and/or E.A.A.T. volunteers
Musicians/Artists to help with worship and creative activities.
Christians to help with the spiritual development aspects of this program: Bible teachers, prayer warriors, godly (wise) counselors, etc.
Horse people: to help round-up and manage the herd, as well as creatively contribute to the integration of horsemanship, groundwork and other aspects of horsemanship into the therapeutic programming.
Others experienced or just interested in applying E.A.A.T. (Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy) principles to this effort.

There is no previous horse experience necessary to get involved. We will offer training and possibly certification in Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (E.A.P.) or Equine Assisted Learning (E.A.L.), as well as training in proven Substance Use Disorder (S.U.D./addiction) recovery support principles. The right people would be willing, able and available to meet for 2 hours every week between March and June of 2020 for training and creative program development work. This is a volunteer position that could possibly work into a part-time, paid position, depending on the success of the program we develop and implement. If you or anyone you know fits this description, we'd love to talk. [Discern.]

Also, consider sharing this article. We are just starting up and not well known, yet, but I sense that this work that God is doing in us and through us will affect our entire region in good and mighty ways. Pray for salvation! Pray for healing! Pray for revival!!! Please share this article on your social media. And feel free to comment below if you have any questions or simply a word of encouragement. [Act.]

Questions? Comments? Feel free to add them below!

Debbie is a believer in Jesus who serves Him in her roles as wife, mom, nana, CR ministry leader & life-long friend of horses. Her interest in therapeutic horsemanship began in 2002 during her recovery from a devastating divorce and mental illness. She found the honesty of horses more than refreshing and encouraging... Horses helped her heal. She has been a PATH Certified Therapeutic Riding Instructor since 2007 and enjoys sharing her Jesus light and love with others world through therapeutic horsemanship.

RECOMMENDED READING (and other neat stuff...)

As an Amazon Associate, TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website. There is no additional cost to you, but the extra income helps us bring the gospel & love of Jesus to more people through horsemanship. Please consider making Amazon purchases through the links you find here or on the Products page of this website.

Holy Places

Wed, 18 Dec 2019 19:00:44 GMT

My muse of Hebrews 7 & 8 (As a suggestion, read Hebrews 7 & 8 in the Bible.)

RECOMMENDED READING:

(As an Amazon Associate, TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website. There is no additional cost to you, but it helps us help others.)

Last week , I didn't write much, if anything, about Hebrews 7. Honestly, I didn't have a clue what God was saying, so I left my questions in God's lap and forged ahead, trusting that He would clarify later. And He has!

In Hebrews 7 Melchizedek is discussed. By itself, I could not understand Hebrews 7. Who is Melchizedek and why does he matter? Now, by studying Hebrews 8, I realize that Melchizedek was included in Israel's history (and in the Bible) to allude to another priestly order - the one to which Jesus belongs. Even as far back as Abraham, God was pointing His people to a priest who saves.

[Disclaimer: I am just an ordinary person. I do not claim to be a biblical scholar by any stretch. My musings are just that - my musings. My conclusions are based on my limited knowledge. My understanding and wisdom is constantly being challenged by further study. I suggest you do your own study of the scriptures to get your questions answered and your own relationship with God deepened.]

Here are some other points of clarification, regarding my understanding of Hebrews 8:

Verses 1-3: By comparison, Jesus is higher, but of the same order as Melchizedek, who is the King of Righteousness and the King of Peace. He is of a heavenly order of priests, not like earthly priests who could not sufficiently reconcile the people to God.
Verse 2: Jesus (implied) does His work (ministry) in "holy places" that man did not make, in places that God set up. (Could these holy places be referring to the regenerated hearts of men?)
Verse 3: This verse further explains the ministry of a priest. Priests offer gifts and it follows they need something to offer.
Verses 4 & 5: If the "holy places" mentioned in verse 2 are indeed the regenerated heart, or spirit of man, then Jesus is not on earth doing what earthly priests do. Earthly priests merely serve (inadequately demonstrate) a shadow of what Jesus, the high priest does.
Verse 6: Christ's ministry is better and enacts better promises than the old covenant, which is predicated upon men obeying the law, failing and then trying, in vain, to atone for sins in order to become reconciled to God. God intentionally created a "faulty" system! (Establishing a "faulty" covenant served its divine purpose by proving to us our inability to attain our own salvation.)
Verse 8: The fault is in the people, thereby requiring a new covenant, in which God does all the work for us.
Verse 9: It is unlike the old covenant.
Verse 10: God's new covenant actually provides for God's laws to be written on hearts of flesh, rather than tablets of stone. Our very spirit is replaced by God's. He ACTUALLY dwells within this house that He created for Himself. (See verse 2.) In this way, God effectively changes the person from the inside, out, without denying him his free will.
Verse 11: This verse further solidifies that this is not a work of men. We will not teach each other who God is, for we will each already know God personally.
Verse 12: Verse twelve speaks of God's mercy.
Verse 13: The new covenant makes the old one obsolete.

The new covenant in no way forces any man's will to submit. Love is still a choice, but with the new covenant, we cannot fail to be reconciled to God, because man cannot deny his own heart, which God Himself transforms! What a brilliant plan! We are literally a new creation - not reworked, not fixed - totally new!

My last blog post reported a surprising change of course in the execution of the TFO Recovery Retreat vision. To recap, I sense that the Lord is guiding me away from using my little farm as the location for the recovery retreat program this summer and that He will provide a better place to launch this ministry. One of the things I can count on from my Heavenly Dad is that He always provides me ample opportunity to trust Him.

Divine redirection or any direction, regarding our response to God's call, is secondary to the deeper purpose of the vision God has for each of us. In other words, fulfilling God's purpose is not nearly as important as being God's vessel. To further refine my point, I am not carrying a vision or even a message, as much as I am a house of God. In light of eternity, I am more a human being, than a human doing. My understanding of Hebrews 8:2 drives this home for me.

Here's your sign! Could it be your God call?

Leadership team & program development/planning
Retreat staff/helpers
Help with fundraising
Wrangle horses
Play music and lead worship
Build stuff (obstacle course, and other program related projects)
Pray! We need prayer warriors!!!

TFO Farm Leadership Team...

Professional licensed therapists (LSW, LCDC, MC, etc.) or certified in the field of drug & alcohol therapy (CRC, CAS, CAC, etc.) to help develop the therapeutic aspect of this program.
Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy (E.A.A.T.) professionals and/or E.A.A.T. volunteers
Musicians/Artists to help with worship and creative activities.
Christians to help with the spiritual development aspects of this program: Bible teachers, prayer warriors, godly (wise) counselors, etc.
Horse people: to help round-up and manage the herd, as well as creatively contribute to the integration of horsemanship, groundwork and other aspects of horsemanship into the therapeutic programming.
Others experienced or just interested in applying E.A.A.T. (Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy) principles to this effort.

Questions? Comments? Feel free to add them below!

RECOMMENDED READING (and other neat stuff...)

Hurry Up and Wait

Fri, 13 Dec 2019 22:22:57 GMT

My muse of Hebrews 7 (As a suggestion, read Hebrews 7 in the Bible.)

RECOMMENDED READING:

(As an Amazon Associate, TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website. There is no additional cost to you, but it helps us help others.)

If there is one thing I know about Jesus, it is that He is full of wonderful surprises! Life has it's twists and turns, it's true. Often what, at first glance, seems like the worst thing, is actually the ONLY thing that will prevent a disaster or bring life and light to a soul-cry.

My personal experience is that God gives His child a vision, but not the whole detailed outline - at least not all at once. I'm finding that the plan - HIS plan and provision - for my life unfolds as I seek Him one day (or moment) at a time . (See Mt. 6:25-34) It seems almost like a "covert operation" to live out God's vision for our lives. Each step is marked out or lit, as it states in Psalm 119:105, but we are not usually given the whole big picture. We are given only enough light for the next step. At this juncture, we have a choice: We can let this providential privilege frustrate us or let it move us further into the center of HIS will. I choose the latter. Hence, the ways of God intrigue me and persuade me to continue my seeking of Him and His will. More often than not, this means I must abandon mine. (That's hard!) God reins me in and adjusts the bearings for me, like what happened last weekend.

Through a set of unforeseen circumstances, we are no longer going to focus on doing the Christ-centered therapeutic horsemanship program here at the Too Far Out Farm location in Guys Mills, PA. I believe God may work that out for a future time, but for now, we will proceed with the program development and seek God for another facility in Crawford County to hold the TFO Recovery Retreats . I'll admit this redirection disappointed me for a minute, but we know God has His good and perfect reasons for closing the door on the location for the retreat. So I wait for God to move or move me...

Here's your sign! Could it be your God call?

Leadership team & program development/planning
Retreat staff/helpers
Help with fundraising
Wrangle horses
Play music and lead worship
Build stuff (obstacle course, and other program related projects)
Pray! We need prayer warriors!!!

TFO Farm Leadership Team...

Professional licensed therapists (LSW, LCDC, MC, etc.) or certified in the field of drug & alcohol therapy (CRC, CAS, CAC, etc.) to help develop the therapeutic aspect of this program.
Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy (E.A.A.T.) professionals and/or E.A.A.T. volunteers
Musicians/Artists to help with worship and creative activities.
Christians to help with the spiritual development aspects of this program: Bible teachers, prayer warriors, godly (wise) counselors, etc.
Horse people: to help round-up and manage the herd, as well as creatively contribute to the integration of horsemanship, groundwork and other aspects of horsemanship into the therapeutic programming.
Others experienced or just interested in applying E.A.A.T. (Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy) principles to this effort.

Questions? Comments? Feel free to add them below!

RECOMMENDED READING (and other neat stuff...)

What's Next?

Wed, 04 Dec 2019 20:59:19 GMT

My muse of Hebrews 6 (As a suggestion, read Hebrews 6 in the Bible.)

RECOMMENDED READING:

(As an Amazon Associate, TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website. There is no additional cost to you, but it helps us help others.)

As you likely noticed, these ongoing blog posts on the book of Hebrews are my own personal impressions and applications of the text. In no way do they represent a theological treatise or statement of doctrine, other than my own. That said, I am awed by God's ability to take words written on a page of my Bible and bring them to life in my soul. They drive me forward and claim me for His good purpose by offering direction, affirmation and confirmation of what I sense Him telling me is next in my life. The Word of God as written in the Bible is dynamic and life changing.

Where chapter 5 of Hebrews seemed to deviate from the directional theme to one of more reflective introspection, now in chapter 6, I feel the Lord leading forward again, after that much needed pause.

Among other things, the writer of this chapter states that we are moving to higher learning (about love) It implies that believers who have abandoned the way of Jesus wouldn't benefit anyways (vs. 4-8). I get the sense that choosing to partake of this "higher education" prevents backsliding (vs. 10-12). (verses 1-15)
This chapter offers us teaching on the justice of God and oaths and God's faithfulness. He cannot lie. (verses 16-18)
The character of God assures us of our eternal place with God and Jesus, our eternal high priest. (verses 19-20)

More and more, I am convinced that the dreams that God puts on our hearts are there to bring us closer and closer to Him. All too often people give up on following Jesus to their dreams after one or more times of "failing" to accomplish a presumed outcome. Is that you? Have you tried and failed? A marriage that didn't bring the "happily ever after" result? A prodigal child? A lost career? Health issues? What has interrupted your reaching for the promised land?

You see, for God, your dreams are not about the dream. It is about you and Him. We tend to think the destination is where we find the reward. More true is this... Along the journey is where He meets us, day-by-day, and THAT is the reward. Heaven is simply the culmination, but the journey here on earth has many opportunities to enter the throne room and receive His grace.

May I suggest that your dream is still there waiting for you who have quit? You may say, "Waiting for what? I have tried all and failed!" Let me exhort you to read Hebrews, chapter 6 again. This time, ask God your questions. Be honest. Expect His answer. Then obey His command to believe and endure (vs. 12).

Below is an invitation to join Jesus and our little farm family in the Jesus journey at Too Far Out Farm. Please pray about it and if you live in or near Crawford County, Pennsylvania, feel free to "hook on" as a volunteer.

Here's your sign! Could it be your God call?

Leadership team & program development/planning
Retreat staff/helpers
Help with fundraising
Wrangle horses
Play music and lead worship
Build stuff (obstacle course, and other program related projects)
Pray! We need prayer warriors!!!

TFO Farm Leadership Team...

Professional licensed therapists (LSW, LCDC, MC, etc.) or certified in the field of drug & alcohol therapy (CRC, CAS, CAC, etc.) to help develop the therapeutic aspect of this program.
Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy (E.A.A.T.) professionals and/or E.A.A.T. volunteers
Musicians/Artists to help with worship and creative activities.
Christians to help with the spiritual development aspects of this program: Bible teachers, prayer warriors, godly (wise) counselors, etc.
Horse people: to help round-up and manage the herd, as well as creatively contribute to the integration of horsemanship, groundwork and other aspects of horsemanship into the therapeutic programming.
Others experienced or just interested in applying E.A.A.T. (Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy) principles to this effort.

RECOMMENDED READING (and other neat stuff...)

Oh, Baby!

Tue, 19 Nov 2019 01:09:52 GMT

My muse of Hebrews 5 (As a suggestion, read Hebrews 5 in the Bible.)

RECOMMENDED READING:

(As an Amazon Associate, TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website. There is no additional cost to you, but it helps us help others.)

Do you remember when you were a kid and the worst insult you could receive from one of your peers was to be called a baby? Regardless of what prompted the derogatory remark from your "friend", it stung, because no one wants to be thought of as less mature than they believe themselves to be. Not then. Not now. Not at any age.

But Jesus is truly our friend, when through Paul, He admonishes the disobedient and effectively calls them babies. That's love! By the way, if something you hear in scripture doesn't feel good, then it is advisable to check with God to find out if that unsettled feeling you have is a result of His effort to move you to change. God does that, you know. It is called conviction.

Now, pause right there a moment and consider what God is saying.

For me, the fifth chapter of Hebrews veers from the theme of offering direction, as in the first four chapters. Instead, this short passage moves me to check myself. It basically says these three important things...

First, it defines the responsibilities of a high priest. A high priest intercedes for us before Almighty God. Chosen by God, a high priest deals gently with people. (verses 1-4)
The perfect High Priest is Jesus, source of eternal salvation. He is qualified to carry out the duties of the "highest" High Priest, not because He is God's Son, but because even though He is God's Son, He learned obedience from the things He suffered. (verses 5-11)
Then comes the real kick in the pants...! The disobedient are admonished as being spiritually dull, immature and unable to even know right from wrong! (verses 11-14) Harsh insult? Or loving exhortation?!?

The implication here in chapter 5 is that maturity directly correlates and corresponds to obedience. This passage of scripture clearly states that Jesus learned obedience through the things He suffered (Verse 8). Suffering is the qualifier (verse 9) and obedience is the "correct answer" to the test.

[Caveat: Let's be clear. I do not mean to say that we are saved by good works (obedience). We are saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8) - obedience being the evidence of faith (James 2:18), not the way of our salvation. In other words, we are not saved BY good works; we are saved FOR good works (that we may experience the fullness of life in Christ).]

I remember when I was going through a long season of suffering. Abandonment, rejection, financial loss, past failures, grief and sorrow seemed to follow me around for five long years. It was a daily struggle to muster up even the will to live, let alone take care of my two teenage children. I had MUCH to learn about obedience and although that season was difficult <(understatement), the things that God instilled in me during that trial has helped develop the best part of who I am today.

Then, as the worst of that agonizing season started to subside, I intuitively knew that there would be more seasons of suffering in my life. At first, that was not a comforting thought. I wasn't privy to exactly what my future held, I just knew it would be hard and wonderful at the same time. And I had a choice. I could follow the path of Jesus, which is marked by suffering OR I could walk my own way and suffer a "second death" - never again feeling the arms of Jesus draped around my sorrowful soul nor lifting my courageous and willing feet, step-by-step to glory. It saddened me to know that there was more suffering to come, but somehow, with Jesus I wasn't afraid. Jesus is more alluring than the world. As a result of my misery, the mastery of my joy is complete. Hope abounds and death has lost it's sting.

Below is an invitation to join Jesus and our little farm family in the Jesus journey. Please pray about it and if you live in or near Crawford County, Pennsylvania, feel free to "hook on" as a volunteer.

Here's your sign! Could it be your God call?

Leadership team & program development/planning
Retreat staff/helpers
Help with fundraising
Wrangle horses
Play music and lead worship
Build stuff (obstacle course, and other program related projects)
Pray! We need prayer warriors!!!

TFO Farm Leadership Team...

Professional licensed therapists (LSW, LCDC, MC, etc.) or certified in the field of drug & alcohol therapy (CRC, CAS, CAC, etc.) to help develop the therapeutic aspect of this program.
Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy (E.A.A.T.) professionals and/or E.A.A.T. volunteers
Musicians/Artists to help with worship and creative activities.
Christians to help with the spiritual development aspects of this program: Bible teachers, prayer warriors, godly (wise) counselors, etc.
Horse people: to help round-up and manage the herd, as well as creatively contribute to the integration of horsemanship, groundwork and other aspects of horsemanship into the therapeutic programming.
Others experienced or just interested in applying E.A.A.T. (Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy) principles to this effort.

RECOMMENDED READING (and other neat stuff...)

Rest.

Wed, 13 Nov 2019 20:47:48 GMT

My muse of Hebrews 4

RECOMMENDED READING:

(As an Amazon Associate, TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website. There is no additional cost to you, but it helps us help others.)

What is rest anyways? I tend to believe that the words, sleep and death, (as suggested by the common term, "Rest In Peace") do not necessarily, nor accurately indicate a saved soul at rest. My studies of scripture (especially the book of Hebrews) suggest that the Lord wants our souls - our whole selves - at rest in Him TODAY , not just when our mortal bodies die and go to Heaven. Rest is a state of security, comfort and peace. Hebrews 4 mentions several times that this perpetual state of rest is for us today, during our earthly walk, not merely for the believer's "R.I.P." eternal after-life. Striving to enter GOD's rest (Hebrews 4:11) is really the work of presently believing His word , which coincides with and effectively ushers in a promise of rest for us in the here & now.

The paradox is profound - that striving to believe is our only work. Jesus did/does all else that is needed to bring us into the state of rest that we are promised TODAY. All other striving is in vain. Chapter 4 climactically reveals His promise of rest for all believers everywhere, TODAY .

And incidentally, the Christian believers of today really do have their work cut out for them! It is real work to believe what God says, in a world that profusely shouts lies continually. Receiving the promised rest is predicated upon our willingness to strive to believe. (It is evident to me that this particular promise of God is conditional.) We must consistently and continually devote ourselves to renewing our minds (Romans 12:2) "with those who listened" (Hebrews 4:2), and seek understanding from the Holy Spirit. My experience is as God says: I receive rest (steadfast security, soothing comfort and hopeful peace) as God transforms me. This promise is for you too, but this promise of God is conditional. We must believe ALL that He says in scripture. In the case of some passages of the Bible that disagree with our "sensitivities" and perceptions of love, we must conclude that "Father knows best" and that our old ideas of love must change to align with what God says it is.

Faith is more than giving mental assent. It is a knowing and acknowledgement that God is right (righteous, holy and without flaw). Faith also mandates our belief be backed up by our words and actions.

Here are my personal points of interest and insight from my study of Hebrews 4:

God's promise of rest is conditional and we could miss out on it (verse 1), if we choose not to meet the conditions, which are made known later* in the chapter (*verses 2, 3, 6, 7, 11, 14, & 16).
Some may fail to experience the promised rest, because they do not continually renew their minds with the truth of God's word. (also verses 1-2)
The promise of rest (peace) does no good for those without faith. They will not receive if they do not believe. (verse 2)
Rest is for believers only. All others will receive God's wrath. This rest was prepared since creation - the Sabbath. (verses 3-4)
There are some (previously identified as unbelievers) who will not enter God's rest. To receive rest, we must enter it. Disobedience causes a failure or inability to enter. The writer makes reference to the House of Israel as an example of how people may fail to enter God's rest/peace because of unbelief/disobedience. (verses 5-6)
Because of their disobedience, God set another time for entering His rest: TODAY! Again, as in Chapter 3, He warns us here to listen when He speaks today & not harden our hearts. Another day of rest was foretold and those who enter (into belief of the gospel of Christ [implied] ), do as God did after He created the world. (verses 7-10)
Disobedience (to the word of God [implied] ) brings a fall and no rest/no peace. (verse 11; see again also verse 1)
God's word is alive! It is capable of exposing innermost thoughts & desires, ie. it brings personal conviction! (verse 12)
God knows EVERYTHING (the good and the evil secrets of our hearts) and He is the one to whom we are accountable.(verse 13)
Our Priest, God's son, Jesus who understands us and our weaknesses has entered Heaven. He faced temptation, as we do, yet He did not sin. Hold firmly this belief. (verse 15)
For this reason, we can (and are encouraged to) approach the throne of grace with great confidence (boldly). Receive grace! We need it! (verse 16)

The implication here in chapter 4 is that obedience directly correlates and corresponds to rest. Conversely, disobedience prevents our rest. Disobedience (sin) is actually what wearies the soul and spirit. It wearies to the point of death!

Since beginning this most recent journaling journey in the book of Hebrews, I've shared on the following: [ God Speaks .] [ Listen .] [Think.] [Rest.] We cannot obey that which we cannot hear: [God Speaks.] We cannot hear if we don't listen: [Listen.] We cannot listen if we do not think: [Think.] We cannot think if we do not rest: [Rest.] We cannot enter God's rest without faith/obedience: [Christ's obedience, leading us to obedience.] We as well, may acquire a surrendered and obedient life through suffering, just like Jesus. It is what it means to follow Jesus. The path of Jesus is marked by suffering. The next couple chapters of Hebrews delves into the "meat" of a mature walk with Christ.

TFO Farm Leadership Team...

Professional licensed therapists (LSW, LCDC, MC, etc.) or certified in the field of drug & alcohol therapy (CRC, CAS, CAC, etc.) to help develop the therapeutic aspect of this program.
Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy (E.A.A.T.) professionals and/or E.A.A.T. volunteers
Musicians/Artists to help with worship and creative activities.
Christians to help with the spiritual development aspects of this program: Bible teachers, prayer warriors, godly (wise) counselors, etc.
Horse people: to help round-up and manage the herd, as well as creatively contribute to the integration of horsemanship, groundwork and other aspects of horsemanship into the therapeutic programming.
Others experienced or just interested in applying E.A.A.T. (Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy) principles to this effort.

Here's your sign! Could it be your God call?

Please reach out to me by email at toofaroutfarm@yahoo.com , if YOU are interested in serving Jesus in this therapeutic horsemanship ministry. You may also visit our volunteer page to learn more. We need folks who are honest, open and willing to serve in the following ways:

Leadership team & program development/planning
Retreat staff/helpers
Help with fundraising
Wrangle horses
Play music and lead worship
Build stuff (obstacle course, and other program related projects)
Pray! We need prayer warriors!!!

RECOMMENDED READING (and other neat stuff...)

Think.

Wed, 06 Nov 2019 15:26:36 GMT

My muse of Hebrews 3

RECOMMENDED READING:

(As an Amazon Associate, TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website. There is no additional cost to you, but it helps us help others.)

Our sheep look rather focused in this picture, don't they? At the time I took this photo, I was speaking to them. They are listening to me. There is something about the shepherd speaking that commands the attention of the sheep. As long as they think of their master, they don't need to think about the wolves. Fear dissipates, falls away and nags them no more. They know their trustworthy master will take care of them.

"... think carefully about this Jesus..." This portion of a Bible verse (Hebrews 3:1) pops off the page for me today. God doesn't just care about our eternal souls; He wants to engage our thinking minds, as well.

This is perhaps the hardest part of my relationship with Jesus - the thoughts whirling around in my brain. I often just have to STOP and ask The Lord to "take my thoughts captive." (2 Cor. 10:5) Some days I need to ask again and again.

And He answers. Again. And again. He puts my mind at rest.

As I continue my study through Hebrews, I am made increasingly aware of how much I need Jesus; even just to think straight. I guess this journey of recovery with Jesus is gradually improving my thinking too. Here is what I am thinking of today from Hebrews 3:

Think. (verse 1)
We are partners, together - all believers - called to Heaven. (also verse 1)
The faithfulness of Jesus compared to Moses (- or me). (verse 2)
Jesus deserves more glory than Moses as "builder of the house." (verses 3-4)
God reveals truth. It's implied that Jesus is the revelation of God's truth. (verse 5)
We (the Church) are the "house" Jesus built, that is IF we remain courageous and faithful in our hope, who is Christ. Jesus is in charge of "the house." (verse 6)
Warning about hardness of heart. (verses 7-11)
More warning: Unbelief is evil. (verse 12)
We are to warn and hold one another accountable, so we are not deceived. (verse 13)
Trusting God "firmly" means that we will share in the inheritance of God's own Son. (verse 14)
Again, I hear the warning to NOT harden our hearts when we hear God's voice. (verse 15)
In verses 16 -18, God uses the example of the rebellious nation of Israel to drive home the danger of disobedience.
Unbelief results in restlessness - being apart from God's rest. (verse 19)

The word of God is a lot to unpack. I see a progression of themes developing as the Lord leads me through the book of Hebrews. So far, since beginning this most recent journaling journey, I've shared on the following: [ God Speaks .] [ Listen .] [Think.]

Come back next week to discover with me what happens after the listening and the thinking.

TFO Farm Leadership Team...

Professional licensed therapists (LSW, LCDC, MC, etc.) or certified in the field of drug & alcohol therapy (CRC, CAS, CAC, etc.) to help develop the therapeutic aspect of this program.
Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy (E.A.A.T.) professionals and/or E.A.A.T. volunteers
Musicians/Artists to help with worship and creative activities.
Christians to help with the spiritual development aspects of this program: Bible teachers, prayer warriors, godly (wise) counselors, etc.
Horse people: to help round-up and manage the herd, as well as creatively contribute to the integration of horsemanship, groundwork and other aspects of horsemanship into the therapeutic programming.
Others experienced or just interested in applying E.A.A.T. (Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy) principles to this effort.

Here's your sign! Could it be your God call?

Leadership team & program development/planning
Retreat staff/helpers
Help with fundraising
Wrangle horses
Play music and lead worship
Build stuff (obstacle course, and other program related projects)
Pray! We need prayer warriors!!!

RECOMMENDED READING (and other neat stuff...)

Listen...

Tue, 29 Oct 2019 17:40:08 GMT

My muse of Hebrews 2

RECOMMENDED READING:

(As an Amazon Associate, TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website. There is no additional cost to you, but it helps us help others.)

In a world where virtually everyone has or can acquire an expressive platform (I said " ex pressive", not im pressive) from which to speak, I wonder if the art of listening is lost. Or are we only interested in what WE have to say? I recently cried out to the Lord as I felt my own ability to hear Him get almost drowned out by the world's "expressions", in favor of 100 billion other voices, including my own, proclaiming their SELF expressions.

"Lord, often I feel like I fail my tests, but YOU say I am helped by the Holy Spirit (John 14:26). Give me ears to hear YOU. Please, Abba, let me stop leaning on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). Give me ears to hear the message of salvation, which is delivered by angels and written down for me by the early saints. Let your anointing fall on me, as it states in verse 8 of Hebrews, chapter 2, which, as believers and followers of Jesus, gave us authority over all things. We've not yet seen. We suffer now, not yet fully realizing the glory that awaits - for now let me receive help from Jesus, so my suffering produces lovely fruit..."

...and so my prayers go. I get it now. The way of Jesus is marked by suffering. The amazing part is, I'm ok with that. I follow, gladly! (Yep, Jesus is THAT enticing.) I listen, intently (albeit intermittently). I stumble, often. He picks me up. I am redeemed. I am healed. I am whole and holy. I am HIS.

As I continue my study through Hebrews, I am made increasingly aware of how much I don't listen. There is stuff in this passage of scripture that I didn't hear the last time I read it. I guess this journey of recovery with Jesus is gradually improving my hearing too. Here is what I am hearing today in Hebrews 2:

Listen. (verse 1)
Salvation message is delivered by angels, Jesus and early Christians (saints). (Verses 2-3)
God confirms the truth of the Good News through the Holy Spirit's work. (Verse 4-5)
People/mortals are of great value and worth to God. (verses 6-8)
God's plan is not yet fully realized; salvation culminates in people being raised up in glory with Christ, given authority with Him. (verses 8-10)
Jesus, the "fit leader." (verse 10)
We are counted as family to God! (verses 11-13)
Power of death is broken by Jesus for us. Jesus is like us in that He became flesh & blood. He did not suffer in vain, but for our salvation. (verses 14-17)
Jesus helps us as we are tested. (verse 18)

Listening means that we have to make a choice. Humanly speaking, I either agree or disagree with what I hear. I mean, if I am actually listening, AND hearing what another is saying, I cannot help but to reason it out. I must choose. Do I agree or disagree with the new information being presented? My brain needs an answer. It is how we humans are wired. Sometimes we hear truths that conflict with what we know, or think we know.

Perhaps, you hear the lies rattling around in your own head: "Nobody loves me", "I can't ___", "I am worthless", "I am better/worse than you.", "Things will never change." "I/You will never change." The list goes on... If actual truth is being communicated to us and we persist in believing our old lies, then we enter a state of denial. WE AREN'T LISTENING. In recovery circles, we learn that if gone unchecked, denial leads to un-manageability and powerlessness. Any recovered addict will tell you that their lives were unmanageable.

The difference between the addict who recovers and the one who doesn't is how willing they are to practice rigorous honesty. It takes a lot of courage to put down our tired, old, yet familiar ideas and embrace new truthful ones. Recovery is hard work; no doubt about it. As I like to say, recovery=sanctification. (That's for those old-timers and religious folks out there who know the meaning of that word.) Recovery from our hurts, hangups and old destructive habits really is a simple process. Not easy, but simple. Let's stop complicating it. [Listen. Discern. Act.]

If you haven't yet heard, Too Far Out Farm, LLC is offering to you, our community, a therapeutic horsemanship program to aid people in their recovery from Substance Use Disorder (S.U.D./addiction). We call it the 2020 TFO Farm Recovery Retreat Therapeutic Horsemanship Program . We see a need to get back to basics. Touch a horse. Learn from their honesty. Experience their simplicity. Communicate on a spirit level and awaken the soul through hard work, vigorous playfulness and restful recreation. [Listen.]

TFO Farm Leadership Team...

The search is on for the team of volunteers who will design and implement this program. Specifically, we are in search of volunteers with the following skills and/or interests (horse experience not required):

Professional licensed therapists (LSW, LCDC, MC, etc.) or certified in the field of drug & alcohol therapy (CRC, CAS, CAC, etc.) to help develop the therapeutic aspect of this program.
Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy (E.A.A.T.) professionals and/or E.A.A.T. volunteers
Musicians/Artists to help with worship and creative activities.
Christians to help with the spiritual development aspects of this program: Bible teachers, prayer warriors, godly (wise) counselors, etc.
Horse people: to help round-up and manage the herd, as well as creatively contribute to the integration of horsemanship, groundwork and other aspects of horsemanship into the therapeutic programming.
Others experienced or just interested in applying E.A.A.T. (Equine Assisted Activities & Therapy) principles to this effort.

There is no horse experience necessary to get involved. We will offer training and possibly certification in Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (E.A.P.) or Equine Assisted Learning (E.A.L.), as well as training in proven Substance Use Disorder (S.U.D./addiction) recovery principles and support. The right people would be willing, able and available to meet weekly as the leadership team for 2 hours between March and June of 2020 for training and creative program development work. This is a volunteer position that could possibly work into a part-time, paid position, depending on the success of the program we develop and implement. If you or anyone you know fits this description, we'd love to talk. [Discern.]

Here's your sign! Could it be your God call?

Leadership team & program development/planning
Retreat staff/helpers
Help with fundraising
Wrangle horses
Play music and lead worship
Build stuff (obstacle course, and other program related projects)
Pray! We need prayer warriors!!!

RECOMMENDED READING (and other neat stuff...)

God Speaks...

Wed, 23 Oct 2019 15:26:23 GMT

My muse of Hebrews 1

RECOMMENDED READING:

(As an Amazon Associate, TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website. There is no additional cost to you, but it helps us help others.)

God saved you and me for something - something big, something worthy of Him . Have you ever thought about that? I mean, here we are, placed on this planet for a purpose. Some of us go to great lengths running from God's purpose for our lives. [But Jesus.]

He allowed us to run. And we ran hard - all the way to the end of ourselves. For some, that was a long and treacherous trek. [But Jesus.]

Here we find ourselves at the end of the road, or rope... We fall helplessly into the arms of love. Forgiven. Free. Saved. [Ah Jesus.]

We know what we are saved from, but do we know what we are saved for? Now the real journey begins. We go from running away, to being still and knowing He is God. God says, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.” (Mt. 17:5) And here is where many believers stall. [Ya but.]

With a case of the "ya buts", many will say they can't do what Jesus says. Go and make disciples? Me? Lay down my life? What?!? At this juncture we must turn again to Our Lord, acknowledge that what He says is true and remember why we are following Him. [Just Jesus.]

Power & Authority. (Hebrews 1)

God spoke the universe and us into existence. He spoke to us through the ages. Now He speaks to us through His son, Jesus who owns everything through inheritance.
The power and authority of Jesus is equal to that of God.
Jesus made us holy, clean... pure. That's a more than the angels can do, so this is why Jesus is called "greater than the angels."
Jesus' position is beside God! He is as praise-worthy as God, Himself and the angels know it. The angels serve Him.
Jesus' reign is everlasting and just. Jesus' joy is an extreme anointing, above all - angels, humans - above ALL.
Jesus is the foundation builder. Although the earth and heavens will perish and be discarded, Jesus will remain alive as eternal creator, the same ALWAYS.
Angels care for people. Why & how?... because Jesus sends them with Kingdom authority, in Kingdom power. Jesus is King of all.

(The above bullet points are my main take-away from my personal study of Hebrews, chapter 1.)

No buts about it.

HERE IS THE ANNOUNCEMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... (Ok, maybe not ALL of you, but I've been anxiously waiting to tell you.)

Too Far Out Farm, LLC will host a new therapeutic horsemanship program, specifically designed to aid those struggling with Substance Use Disorder (S.U.D./also known as addiction). We call it the 2020 TFO Recovery Retreat Therapeutic Horsemanship Program . Our goal is to be another resource to help addicts connect with God and others for building a firm foundation for their recovery from S.U.D. The first step is to recruit a dedicated team of volunteers and train them (and let them train us) in Christian recovery principles and therapeutic horsemanship. This group will be 4-8 Christians with a heart for the stated mission and vision of this project. Could you be among this group?

We will brainstorm, design and implement ten weekly, full-day, retreat sessions. Lesson plans and activities will be based upon proven recovery principles enhanced by horsemanship, equestrian arts and equine-assisted learning & therapies, as well as other outdoor farm activities and the musical and visual arts. Sound interesting?

In order to be life changing, educational, relational, restorative, safe & fun, we will employ, model, demonstrate and teach recovery principles found in the Bible, in the 12-Steps of Recovery and in Christ-centered recovery curriculum from Celebrate Recovery® and Living Free®. Each retreat session will involve team-building activities, equine-assisted learning, meaningful farm adventures, relationship building, Bible teaching, art/music projects, focus groups, personal reflection time, worship, and writing assignments. Each weekly retreat session will build upon the one before it.

If you are interested in this unique volunteer opportunity, please reach out to me by email at toofaroutfarm@yahoo.com . If you know anyone that may be interested in serving Jesus in this way, please share this article with them. Got questions? Ask.

RECOMMENDED READING (and other neat stuff...)

B.I.B.L.E.

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 20:31:56 GMT

As an Amazon Associate TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website, at no additional cost to you.

I've heard it said that the Bible is B asic I nstructions B efore L eaving E arth ( B.I.B.L.E. ). My experience (and that of millions of others) bears this out. I especially love the proverbs of the Bible! Take this one, for example:

"In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil." ~Proverbs 3:6‭-‬7 ESV

You see, life's difficult circumstances are not the problem. The problem is we fail to follow the instructions. Surprisingly and sadly, many Christians don't even read the Bible. The answers to all life's troubles, including mental illness like clinical depression, anxiety, addiction, unresolved grief or marital strife, to name just a few, are found in Christ. He even had His friends write all the answers down in the Bible for us.

Faith placed exclusively in oneself is known as "me-ism." Me-ism is self-reliance, self-will and self-centeredness all rolled into one hot mess. Me-ism causes and exacerbates unhealthy patterns of behavior, resulting in lifestyles that lead to a dead-end.

The "basic instructions" say:

And I will give you a new heart , and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. ~Ezekiel 36:26

Did you catch that? "I" is not YOU. "I" in this Bible verse is God. We have strayed far from following "Good Orderly Direction" (G.O.D.).

The Bible is not irrelevant in today's culture. As a matter of fact, I have found it more helpful than anything else in attaining a centered and balanced life and truly peaceful existence. The truth has indeed set me free! (John 8:814-795-2686.

The Problem

An inability to deal with stress in a healthy way may lead to drug abuse, mental illness, heart disease. Arguably, ANY infirmity known to man is exacerbated and possibly caused by stress. At best, mood-altering chemicals, whether legally prescribed or not, temporarily relieve stress and give the individual a false sense of control and pseudo well-being. Many turn to what feels good for a quick fix.

And why not? The "powers-that-be" in the medical industry sent the message that a quick fix is appropriate. The "pain scale" as a vital sign determinate was first introduced in 2001 . After 18 years of drawing objective conclusions from a subjective indicator (the "pain scale"), we can see the results. Since 2001, we have evidence that personal pain levels cannot be accurately assessed by a patient in pain looking at a chart. However, by capitalizing on this very trend, "big pharma" convinced a hurting population that the primary way to deal with negative thoughts, dysfunctional behavior, and/or physical pain is to take a pill. (If you are interested in an investigative reporter's findings about the true story of America's current opiate epidemic, I highly recommend the book "Dreamland" by Sam Quinones. See the Amazon links found on this page.)

I contend that a prescription should never be dispensed for a mental/emotional problem, unless the patient is also actively pursuing and receiving other forms of treatment and recovery, such as, counseling/group therapy or physical therapy, healthy diet, exercise and some sort of faith-based recovery. The Rx is simply a piece of the healing puzzle - not the end solution. Ideally, prescription drugs are a stop-gap measure, so-to-speak, which may enable the patient to acquire a bit of relief until, appropriate coping skills can be attained.

The Solution

I am one who was previously diagnosed with a life-controlling affliction called bi-polar disorder. I received some relief with medication for 10 years, THEN through Christ-centered recovery, I received complete healing from the mental illness. I no longer require medication and I am completely free of symptoms now for over 8 years. Fear of sickness and pain can be replaced with faith in God. I am not unique in this discovery. I hear miraculous stories of God's redemption and deliverance, weekly at our Celebrate Recovery meetings.

Belief is a powerful antidote. Often, people refuse or do not know they can actually trust God for right, healthy living. The good life is possible. We just need to help people see with their "spiritual eyes" and believe they can get well by building on Truth, walking in Faith and serving with Obedience. Then they will get well without becoming unduly dependent on ingested substances.

Faith-based recovery and prevention initiatives, like Celebrate Recovery(R) and Teen & Adult Challenge(R) and others are effective, because they exhort us to put Jesus in the driver's seat of our lives. Even secular groups like AA and NA have been helpful to procure the spiritual solution. We've also discovered the importance of the group (community) dynamic. Healing ALWAYS happens in the context of healthy relationships. [For example, do you know of anyone who got healed of cancer without sharing their burden with at least one other person?] Tools, like prescription drugs, are ancillary to healthy and therapeutic relationships.

Please follow this blog and offer your relevant insights in the comments. Stay tuned for a new and creative therapeutic resource to help people overcome Substance Use Disorder coming soon to Too Far Out Farm! Follow us on Facebook and subscribe to Too Far Out Farm e-News .

Too Far Out Farm Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/TFO.Farm

Recovery & Therapeutic Horsemanship e-News link: http://eepurl.com/gkXFP1

Debbie is a believer in Jesus, wife, mom, nana, horse-lover, PATH Certified Therapeutic Riding Instructor and concerned citizen, redeemed, healed, called and empowered by Almighty God.

As an Amazon Associate TFO Farm earns residual income from purchases you make through the Amazon links found on our website, at no additional cost to you.

Time Out

Thu, 29 Nov 2018 21:08:49 GMT

God knows best, so why aren't we listening?

In the hustle and bustle of any given day, how attentive am I to the call of God? Lately, I have been trying extra hard to hear God throughout the day. My peace is found in the center of God's will, but oh how I neglect to seek Him...

In those moments, He pursues me. WoW! Just WOW.

The other day, I was stewing in my prayer chair about something. At this point, I don't even know what it was. I just know that my peace had vanished and I was feeling discontent. Then out of "nowhere" a thought popped in my head that I should go out to the barn and visit my horse. Mind you, it was all of 24* outside! I wouldn't have thought, on my own, to go outside to pet my horse. I assume the thought was of my Heavenly Dad. He does that sometimes. Directs me to take a time out and simply enjoy His presence.

So I obeyed. I was blessed and surprisingly, so were Junior and Clyde. God will guide, moment-by-moment. The blessing comes when I simply listen and obey.

In an effort to "hear" from God, I read my Bible every day. Currently, I am listening to the Bible in a year on a YouVersion devotional. I decided to also study the book of Hebrews. I'm not interested in following a curriculum or guided study notes written by one more learned than me. I am just reading a chapter a day and asking my Abba Father questions along the way and journaling His whisperings to me. I am inclined to think that Jesus wants to disciple me, personally right now. I'll share here in my online journal when my personal journey through Hebrews grows some fruit. In the meantime, I think I'll listen for His still small voice to guide and comfort me through chaos, as well as lead me beside the still waters of this temporary exile.

Beach Riding

Sat, 03 Nov 2018 20:20:57 GMT

Living in the Light of God

Someday, I’d love to go horse back riding on a sandy beach. It sounds so romantic… Can you picture it? The sun rising (or setting) over glistening blue, green and pink waters; just me and my favorite equine and human companions. Or perhaps you’ve lived it and want to revisit that perfect scene.

Desire is not a bad thing. God said, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” ~Psalm 37:4.

I believe that many of our heart’s desires are actually put there by our Creator. That would explain specific “calls” that many Christians walk in as part of their ministry or gift to this world that God loves.

Sometimes though, in our zeal as believers, we allow the CALL to supersede the CALLER and the CALLED fall down. [I'm thinking of Jesus' disciple Peter ... and me ...] I did that. I fell very hard; I even lost my family, because the goal, the dream, the vision became more important than the fellowship with each other.

Yes, I did that and lost myself in the compulsion to achieve.

Thankfully, the grace of God runs deeper and wider than my self-centeredness. There is an end to me and Jesus is right there. Always. As the Bible says in 1 John 1:7 , “…the blood of Jesus, His [God's] son, cleanses us from all sin.”

Remembering the condition attached to Psalm 37:4, I will delight in the Lord, because I have learned that putting anything ahead of Him, even seemingly good things, brings calamity to this daughter of the King of kings. Abba knows best.

So if I ever get to ride on the beach, I’ll go with Jesus. Not ahead of Him. Not behind Him. Not around Him. Right there with Him. Maybe He will bring you along with. Won’t that be fun?!?

Consider sharing in the comments, here, your heart's desires and how Jesus is moving you closer to Him through them.

Butterflies, Horses and Jesus

Mon, 23 Jul 2018 19:38:52 GMT

Our wings begin to work when we allow the struggle to strengthen them...

I read with interest once that caterpillars MUST struggle out of the cocoon in order to gain the strength to use their new wings. Without the struggle, they die, never knowing the heights their beautiful wings could carry them.

This confirmed a process that I had to endure with my granddaughter, Katelyn this afternoon. She was getting frustrated by Clyde, her pony. She couldn't get him to sit still while she struggled to put on his halter. Her patience ran out and she began to cry and scream at me to help her. I knew that she could do this task, because I had seen her do it many times before. It was her attitude that kept getting in the way of her goal. Her pony simply didn’t want to hang around with a frustrated, crying and screaming 7 year-old, so he slipped out of her grasp at every chance. Whenever she screamed at me to help, I just kept saying, “I am.” I was helping by allowing her to struggle, much like the caterpillar transforming into the butterfly.

Later, after she successfully accomplished getting her pony tacked up and took a timeout to get her long pants on (and have a good cry), she returned to the barn, ready for her ride. She mounted up, more independently than ever before and as I left her and her pony to enjoy one another in our arena, I gave her one more instruction, repeating one of my favorite horsemanship mantras, “Be the leader he can trust. Have a plan and communicate it well. Keep your eye on the goal and compassion in your heart for your horse.” I further explained that she must never quit helping her pony to understand the why and how of it. She must stick to her plan and hang in there with her pony until they accomplish the goal together . I said, "He must learn to submit, even if he struggles to understand; keep on telling him the plan and pointing him in the right direction, kind of like I did for you when you were struggling to put on his halter.”

She smiled. Now, she understood.

That’s how it is with struggles. We think Jesus isn’t helping. We cry out and complain, then, IF we continue to seek Him and trust Him even in the midst of the storm, He shows us that there was purpose in the struggle. Our wings begin to work, because they have been strengthened by the struggle. See Isa. 40:31 .

My Recovery Journey

Tue, 20 Mar 2018 21:37:51 GMT

Recovery Journey - Debbie's Testimony

My name is Debbie and I am a very grateful follower of Jesus Christ. The Lord delivered me from the obsession to use and abuse alcohol when I was 27 years old. Then more recently, in 2011, He healed me completely of a terrible, life-long mental illness that temporarily robbed me of my dreams, my family and even threatened my life on occasion. That is behind me for God says…

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” ( 2 Corinthians 5:17 )

I’ll be sharing in this TFO Journal entry about my amazing journey with Jesus through the hills and valleys. In the natural, I should have, could have, would have died, BUT for the grace of God... My new life, strength and hope is found in Christ alone . He continues to help me overcome issues of codependency, perfectionism and food issues one day at a time.

The following passage from 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3 sums up my gratitude for you, my “skin-on” helpers, my brothers and sisters in Christ:

“We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.”

I guess I should start at the beginning. My father was a blue collar, hard-working, and really fun dad who loved me dearly. The family “rumor” was that I was his favorite daughter. He had four, and he always called me his #1 daughter and although my three younger sisters were also the apples of his eye, there was a pervading belief among us that he favored me, probably for no other reason than I was the first born. I always felt his favor too, and my love and affection for him remains to this day. Even though he always worked two jobs, he had time for me as a young girl. When we were young, he took us camping and fishing and snowmobiling! Winter was especially fun with my dad. He loved playing in the snow with his girls, building snowmen and sledding. He even took us snowmobiling and overnight tent camping in the winter. Mom wasn’t an outdoorsy person, but she indulged us and even came along on the summertime camping trips. I was a Daddy’s girl, through and through! My earliest memories of him were of following him around everywhere and practicing his walk. I actually perfected the gait, which was a kind of duck-footed tromp, but with purpose and direction. He taught me how to appreciate God’s great outdoors and I witnessed him often giving glory to God for the beauty that we find on the planet. He helped me explore the wonders of creation on a regular basis and instilled in me the truth that God did all this. He was the first to introduce me to Jesus, he taught me to pray every night and made sure I attended Sunday School and later took me to church with him.

My mother, was a homemaker and stay-at-home mom for the first 10 years of my life. Her ways were often strict and condescending. I now know that her affection and love for me was there, albeit carefully concealed by her own hurts, hang-ups and habits. I could not and at times, would not see her love for me. She chided me harshly and was extremely critical. Growing up, I did not receive an abundance of nurturing from her, if any at all, unless it was in the presence of others. She was plagued by keeping up appearances and I later learned to pity her for all her fretful ways. The earliest memories of my mom are of her violent outbursts of verbal abuse. I feared these rampages so much that as a very young girl, I made it my mission to simply avoid being heard or seen. Back then, you could get away with that. We lived in a nice middle-class neighborhood and I would run and play with my friends all day until I heard her or dad call me for supper. While at home, I often comforted myself by hiding under a blanket and sucking my thumb. I was able to stay “out of her hair” for much of my early childhood, that way. Before starting public school, she forbade me from sucking my thumb anymore, but I found a substitute. More about that later. Mom was not entirely physically abusive, but she was anything but gentle in her physical handling of my young, little body.

That’s the way it went. Our family dreams were not unlike the typical “American dream” of my parent’s generation. Work hard. Save your money. Move to the country or suburbs and live happily ever after. I got on board with the plan by begging my parent’s for a pony. So when I was eight, my folks built a cute little, yellow, ranch-style home on an acre of ground in the rural suburbs of Erie County. One of the first things my dad did after moving in, was build me and my sister, Suzie a little yellow barn and then he bought us a pony to share. I loved everything about pony ownership, including the heavy-duty chores, but my younger sister did not, so my parents decided to buy her a guitar and give her music lessons, instead. Thankfully, there was a neighbor girl who had a pony too, so me and my best friend had a blast together on many pony adventures over the next two years. Other kids resided near us too and I remember wonderful games of kick-the-can and fort-building and exploring the woods near our homes. It was really the happiest two years of my childhood and I am so grateful for the memories, because it gave me a sense that life could be good and that God really does make our dreams come true. I would need these precious memories later.

The family dream and the family itself came to an abrupt end when my parents announced to me and my three younger sisters that they were divorcing. I was afraid that would happen, but never thought it really would. I thought all the fights between my parents were kind of “normal” to a degree. Mom yelled a lot. That’s who she was. I had really known nothing but very LOUD fighting in the home for all of my ten years up to that point. It was not unusual to lay awake in my bed at night listening to screaming fits and slamming doors between my parents, then falling asleep on my tear-soaked pillow. At the time, I erroneously blamed my mom for everything!

Gone went the pony and our other beloved pets. They were my comfort and my responsibility and they went away. Gone went the friendly and fun neighborhood friends. They were my escape and my daily reprieve. They also disappeared. Mom started working and dating and having a life apart from her family. My Dad... Well, Dad went away too. No longer welcome in our home, he showed up in the driveway most weekends and made a point to try to take us to church every Sunday. The family secrets didn’t come out until decades later, but I certainly felt the effects of my Dad’s infidelity to my mom, his alcoholism, drug use and other character flaws. At the time, I thought my Dad “hung the moon.” I remember sitting in the kitchen on Friday or Saturday evening waiting for his call. Sometimes he didn’t call at all. My love for him became desperate and twisted by anxiety, self-doubt and self-loathing. I wondered what was wrong with me that he didn’t want me anymore. I felt so very alone and increasingly abandoned and insecure as time went by. I thought he was the perfect parent and my Mom was the cause of all our issues. Here I was, believing more lies.

The screaming between my parents went away too. As a matter of fact, they stopped talking to each other altogether. As the oldest, at age 10, I was assigned the new and different responsibility of coordinating our weekly visitation with Dad. Really, I much preferred mucking my pony’s stall and helping my Daddy put up hay in the little yellow barn, but now it was time to just fall in line and take up my role as family negotiator and arbitrator. The problem was, I never could do it well. I never could get it right.

The next four years or so are kind of a blur. I babysat my little sisters a lot and referree-ed the squabbles and fights that we would get into while mom worked. My mom’s aunt and her young daughter moved into this new “city” house with us, until my mom remarried a year or so later. That marriage lasted one year and I remember being kind of disappointed that my new little brother, Jeffrey had to go away now too. I thought it was cool to have a brother, but it didn’t last very long.

Now 12 years old, I simply continued to do what was expected of me. My grades were stellar, because making the grade was the ONLY area of my life that I could control. I studied hard and if I couldn’t understand what was being taught, rather than risk public humiliation by asking the teacher a question, I simply cheated, because I absolutely COULD NOT, WOULD NOT be seen as a failure. Perfection was the goal. Getting good grades became the only thing that made my Mom smile at me. And since Dad was only available on weekends, I knew I needed to at least have a perfect, “straight-A” report card to show him every nine weeks.

At school, I was extremely shy and awkward. I avoided being in the limelight at all costs. I was down to one friend by this time, and I think the only reason she remained my friend is because she felt sorry for me. I felt shame and embarrassment in ALL social settings and to me, school was one big stressful social environment. Middle School was awful for me, because I could not fit in. I developed an attitude of negativity and self-pity. I envied and resented the popular, happy girls. I made fun of kids who I thought were inferior to me. There weren’t many of those, but if they had a funny name or something, and I thought they couldn’t hurt me, I often picked on them. I only liked playing with boys. I found out, however, that if you make fun of boys, they will try to beat you up, but I was a pretty tough girl and could hold my own. They didn’t fight dirty like girls do with the hair pulling and long fingernails.

So it went. I had to be perfect. I had to be in control. I was painfully, excruciatingly lonely. But I prayed every day that my parents would reunite. I had a child-like faith. God in Matthew 18:3 says: “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Throughout my adolescent years, my folks never spoke to one another, but I remembered hearing in Sunday School that God answers prayers and I NEEDED to believe that, so I prayed for my heart’s desire.

Then one Christmas Eve, my parents actually talked on the phone! We called Mom to say good night and Merry Christmas, but she started crying on the phone and upset my little sisters, so Dad got on and started yelling at her. It was my decision that we spend the holiday with our Dad and this was Mom’s first Christmas Eve without us kids. I was devastated, because I believed that I made another bad decision and destroyed my mother’s day, again - and it was Christmas to boot! Just the beginning of what would become a lifetime of ruined holidays for my Mom. As my mom cried, my Dad’s heart towards her must have melted and they started talking again.

The next thing I knew, we were attending their second wedding. It was all so surreal! But it was real and certain confirmation to me that God answers prayer.

I don’t remember ever thanking God for answering my most desperate prayer. I was in such a hurry to be part of a “normal” family with two parents who talked to each other, and to fit in with other kids and have friends again that I forgot that God just gave me a miracle.

My negativity and self pity evolved into more ingratitude, as well as, ever-increasing rebellion, suppressed anger and depression. At age 14, I discovered that alcohol made me feel comfortable in social situations. I could even talk to boys without being embarrassed if I got drunk. The night of my first drunk I found all the answers to all my problems and I remember it like it was yesterday. I finally discovered something that seemed to fill the gaping void in my heart and soothe my weeping wounds. It was all a lie, but a lie I was willing to believe, because beer made me feel “comfortable in my own skin” for the first time in my young life. I drank at every opportunity throughout high school. Like everything else, though, I never did do it very well. This part of my life between 14 and 23 was about hating my life in between the weekend parties. I drank only on weekends and managed to graduate high school with honors. My reasoning was that if I could produce the perfect report card, hold a part-time job, participate in extra-curricular activities and keep up appearances, I didn’t have a problem. When I drank, though, I drank for no other reason than to get falling down drunk and to escape the awkwardness, emptiness and loneliness deep in my soul.

I believe the Lord had His angels working overtime with me, because I lived very recklessly during this period. I suffered “black-outs” or “brown-outs” many times while drunk, coming-to in strange places with strange people, and not knowing how I got there, or driving my car at 55 mph while puking in the passenger seat. ALL my relationships were shallow and filled with feelings of jealousy, envy, mistrust and lying. I lied a lot to stay out of trouble. I lied to get booze. I lied to appear in control. After every binge, I felt incredible remorse, vowing never to do it again. My spiritual life was non-existent and I sometimes threatened suicide. I was often very, very depressed. I knew there was a God, but I figured He was very angry with me and likely I was the only one in the world that He hated. I not only told many lies. I believed many lies.

Then, when I was 20, I met my first husband, Patrick at a party where he was pushing pills to minors. My parents had always warned me about street drugs and I am very grateful for that. Knowing that drugs were bad and being quite enamored with my alcohol anyways, other harder drugs did not interest me. I was not really impressed with Pat’s little pharmacological enterprise, but the man intrigued me. After all, he showed an interest in me! My first thought was, “Oh, he’s not bad looking,” and my very second thought was, “I can change him.”

“Isn’t that the foundation of all marriages: outward appearances and forcing change in the other?” (sarcasm) A few years later I would learn the meaning of co-dependency, but for now I had some chaos to create.

Pat and I were married a couple months after my 21st birthday and two years after that I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl that we named Julia. The first time I laid eyes on her, my heart grew twice its size and I knew true love for the first time in my life. My life would never be the same and I knew it. My life had to change if I was going to be the mother she deserved, so once again, I vowed to quit drinking.

By this time, I was riding high on the co-dependent/alcoholic merry-go-round that was my marriage, doing the same things over and over, expecting different results. Pat drank, did drugs and stayed out all night on a regular basis. He was fairly high-functioning and held down a job, but I sat many weekend nights by the window until he stumbled home. At first, I feared he was never going to come back; that he would abandon me like my dad, but after a while I stopped caring at all. I became bitter and indifferent towards him.

My own drinking bouts were less frequent now that I had a baby to care for, but when I did get the chance, I took it. By now, I hated to love drinking, but that’s where I was. It made me sick and foolish, ashamed and remorseful. I never could recreate the perfect buzz like I found on my very first date with alcohol some 8 years prior, but I had to try until I couldn’t. I wanted to quit for good and I could not do that either. I quit drinking… every other month or so.

When the marriage merry-go-round got boring, I jumped on the emotional roller coaster and rode up and down until I couldn’t see straight. I landed myself in the mental ward shortly after Julia was born. We chalked it up to postpartum depression, although they hadn’t really given me an official medical diagnosis at that time. Pat told me if I ever went crazy again, he would leave me. We habitually verbally abused one another. I stuffed more feelings and continued to deny the pain until I lost my sanity again a couple years later. During this second emotional breakdown, I recovered a repressed memory of sexual molestation from when I was five years old.

I think it was after this second breakdown, I started attending Al-Anon meetings and going to counseling for the childhood trauma. And so my recovery journey began, however it took me about 2 years to really even begin to understand the simplest of spiritual principles. My brains were scrambled, my heart was in pieces and my soul was dark. Eventually, I realized there was help for me to quit drinking in Alcoholics Anonymous , so I kind of tapped my toe on the 12-steps. I figured I could read the " Big Book " of AA and be all better in no time. I would do it without your help, thank you very much!

You know, it takes courage to heal and I had none. I didn’t know enough to trust God for it, but somewhere deep inside I knew He was carrying me.

Still, I wanted to do this all by myself. My way turned out to be the wrong way, but that’s hindsight and I had no foresight at the time, so my new solution to this UN-amusement park of a life included turning it all up-side-down. My now physically abusive husband was no longer necessary, so I dumped him and jumped headlong into a brand new life of my own invention. It was ALL about me, myself and I, now! I and my 2-year old daughter were going to conquer the world! I started college, met a new guy, got pregnant, divorced Pat, quit drinking (again), and got married, all in the span of two years, and in that order. Self-will run riot does not begin to describe the depravity of my condition.

Ecclesiastes 2:19-20 says: “and who knows whether he will be wise or a fool? Yet he will be master of all for which I toiled and used my wisdom under the sun. This also is vanity. So I turned about and gave my heart up to despair over all the toil of my labors under the sun.”

Now this time I was in love, for real! My second husband, Blu became my new obsession. I felt like I finally arrived. I drank my last drink when I found out I was pregnant with my son, Garrett who was born in 1988. Blu and I were married when Garrett was six weeks old, only four months after finalization of my divorce from Pat. All I had to do now was hide all my sin and brokenness and live happily ever after. I had a plan for that! We attended church every Sunday, took the kids to Sunday School, bought a big house in the country, and pretended to be the model Christian family. I even bought myself a horse! My dreams were finally coming true, but…

Inside, I was still perpetually angry, hurt, broken and constantly tempted to despair. I struggled with manic episodes that manifested themselves in a week of hyper-happiness and activity, uncontrollable rages and delusions of grandeur, then sliding into bed for the next week, clinically depressed and entertaining suicidal thoughts. Another mental ward visit later and they diagnosed me with BiPolar Disorder. I had given up the 12-step recovery groups in favor of my new husband, so there really was no help for me, except big pharma. Church was simply for appearances, and I didn’t have the faith for a divine healing, YET. However, God was beginning to shine through the cracks of my broken vessel. Jesus was not yet first in my life, but He was starting to get my attention.

My second marriage lasted 9 years. Blu grew tired of my bi-annual mental breakdowns and narcissistic attitudes. I felt like I deserved him leaving me for the other woman, but I fought desperately to keep him to myself by begging, manipulating, criticizing, condemning and lying; whatever deceptive means I could muster up, but none of that worked anymore. I was all the way to the end of myself and the only thing I could see was that empty, broken vessel. THERE Jesus met me. Finally, on my knees in a puddle of my own tears, I cried out to God, “Jesus! Have you ever loved and not been loved in return?” As I heard my own voice ring in my ears, I finally perceived the truth that had been missing all my life. Jesus spoke to my soul and convinced me that He indeed knew the weight of unrequited love. I finally broke.

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

I committed my life, heart and soul to the care of God. (Step 3) That very night, I told the Lord that I didn’t want to do anything my way anymore. I sincerely submitted my will and life over to the care of God. My way bankrupted me. I was most certainly financially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually bankrupt. I could not go any lower and Jesus was right there holding me. He lifted me up and set me back on a path of recovery and proceeded to make me holy. Together, we worked the 12-steps of recovery in AA with a sponsor that He personally chose for me. Even though I had been “dry” for the previous 10 years, my character flaws had gotten the better of me and infected all my relationships. Now, I would focus on my relationship with Jesus. He caused me to fall in love with Him by first loving me. He became my first love and is showing me how to love others on a level I never knew possible.

I was careful to take the suggestions of the people He placed in my life to help me:

No major changes in the first year, including no new relationships or major moves & decisions.
Stick with the winners.
First things first.
One day at a time.
Live and let live.
Let go and let God.

My recovery friends guided me to find a wonderful sponsor; someone who walked the path before me. Because of the truths she discovered on her own road of recovery, she became honest, open and willing to help others, even me. As a matter of fact, I eventually learned that in order to keep it, you have to give it away. But there are TWELVE steps and they must be done in order for them to work. Recovery from all afflictions is possible, but it takes work. There is not an easier, softer way. Jesus is the way and He asks us to submit everything to Him, pick up our cross and follow.

New friends at my recovery meetings accepted me and didn’t seem to care that I cried at almost every meeting for the first year. They, as well as my old and new church friends, wrapped me up in the love of Jesus. I was seeing the church in a whole new way now. I no longer had to pretend to have it all together. The lies that I formerly believed about myself, my family and my God were falling away and I learned to forgive instead of stuff. I learned to laugh with people, instead of at them. Self-loathing melted away. I learned the difference between self-centeredness and self-love. All because Jesus kept pursuing me with a fierce Agape love that knows no limits.

I am married now to a wonderful, sober and godly man. Together, we discovered Celebrate Recovery about 8 years ago and the Lord is leading us to new and deeper levels of love and intimacy in the ministry of Christ. It is not easy, but nothing worth doing is. We keep our eyes on the prize, who is Jesus, and trust Him with everything for He is willing, and oh so able!

God provided the tools in the 12 steps and in the fellowship and service with other believers. As I mentioned earlier, I began my recovery journey in the secular groups of Al-Anon and AA. Praise God! Jesus is the most anonymous member of the secular groups. Yes, he is THAT humble. I also believe that our Lord, Jesus is the founding member and the inspiration behind the 12 Steps of Recovery . After all, most would conclude, as I have, that the 12 steps are a simple summary outline of the Gospel of Christ . I experienced for the first time, EVER, true fellowship and the love of Jesus in my recovery community of AA. I am forever grateful for those folks.

Here is how the 12 Steps of Recovery work for me:

The first step says, "We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behavior; that our lives had become unmanageable.” Breaking free of denial meant hearing and accepting the truth about myself, others and God. Some truths are very hard to hear, but Jesus is gentle and humble and merciful. By stepping out of denial, I am discovering that everything that God says is true… “The truth shall set you free.” ( John 8:31-32 ). “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” ( vs. 36 )
Step 2: “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” The first time I heard the second step, I thought, “Well, you might be insane, But I’m not!” Another lie, later dispelled. I finally figured out that my way led to inner confusion and division and chaos in my relationships. Certainly no peace. In step 2, I came. As they say, “ Meeting makers make it! ”
Step 3: “We made a decision to turn our life and our will over to the care of God.” By this time, I arrived all the way to the end of myself, finally able and WILLING to learn from Jesus. I became His disciple. I made a decision to follow Jesus with everything I had.
Steps 4 &5: These steps give my courage.
Steps 6 & 7: These steps taught me humility.
Steps 8 & 9: These steps give me the power to forgive.
Steps 10, 11 & 12: These steps teach me endurance and persistence. There is no “easier, softer way” than the way of Jesus. “Jesus said to him, I am the way, and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.” ( John 14:6 )

Jesus is faithful to meet us where we are as we seek Him day-by-day. I occasionally slip into my old habits, when a button gets pushed or I neglect caring for myself in some way. My stubborn streak rubs up against my husband, Mike in ways that drive him batty. We have had some fights that had the neighbors concerned, but in the midst of it all, God is working out the kinks and we know that there are others in our midst, walking with us. I have women I can go to in my church and at CR that pray with me and offer accountability and gentle correction, as needed. Sometimes, it just helps to know that I’m not alone in my struggles as I learn to love Jesus and respect people that I don’t always understand. My friends in recovery encourage me and won’t let me quit. I’m done quitting, because love will find a way, if we just let the Way of Love find us.

Junior's Story

Tue, 20 Mar 2018 21:37:51 GMT

This is the very personal story of me and my horse. Ironically, it coincides with the humble beginnings of TFO Family Ministries at Too Far Out Farm. Building on TRUTH, walking in FAITH and serving with OBEDIENCE are life lessons well learned by a woman and her reluctant horse. This story was originally written over time beginning February 24, 2011 and it is still being written...

QUITE A RIDE

Feb. 24, 2011
I often joke with my friends that I seem to be drawn to people and animals that cannot behave. That attitude of mine propelled my persistent love of Junior ever since I met him in the spring of 2007. My friends Alan and Jessica decided that I should be horseless no more and donated Junior to the family ministry here at Too Farm Out Farm . Junior became more than an evangelism and discipleship tool for the sake of the Gospel. He became my friend and companion. Stubborn and ornery as he is, I learned to love him. Quite aware of a deeper need masked by bad behavior, I set out to soothe and discipline my newly acquired horse.

That first summer with Junior kept me scratching my head and licking my wounds. About all I got out of him those first couple of months, besides doctor bills and frustration was manure. I could climb on his back and sit there, but he would not calmly tolerate any other mounted activity. About two weeks into his training in a desperate attempt to get him to take just one forward step, I pulled his head to my knee and aggressively dug my heels into his side. Junior reared back on his haunches so suddenly and violently that we both flipped over backwards which resulted in the cantle of my saddle and about half a ton of flailing horse landing squarely on my right shin. My horrified husband, Mike witnessed this circus and protectively insisted Junior be sent to his room without supper. I persisted in my desire to end this training session as the animal's "master" and convinced Mike that I must get back on or he'd display even less self control the next time. So with my husband's help, I pulled my crippled body back into the saddle and rode my gelding once around the arena for the last time until my leg healed eight weeks later.

Since that initiation to all things Junior, I backed off on any heavy-handedness, and mustered all the natural horsemanship skills at my disposal. I had worked with abused and neglected horses previously and this incident indicated to me that my new horse had a past to be reckoned with. I hired a professional trainer and elicited advice from all my horsey friends in order to begin again with Junior. From then on, we worked on the "ground rules." We bonded more completely through long-line driving and longe-line ground work. He began to respect my authority and it appeared we were making real progress. By the beginning of the 2009 training season, Junior and I were enjoying trail rides in the woods. He still tested my resolve now and again, leaving me humbled, dusty and slightly bruised on several more occasions, but those incidents were coming fewer and far between. It helped that by this time Junior was enjoying equine socialization, for we had adopted Wilson and Jasper in August 2008.

NEARING CAPITULATION

In the summer of 2009, I contracted the services of Nikki Byers, a more experienced professional trainer than the one I used the year before. Because she was two-months pregnant, Nikki brought along her sister, Kristy to do the "tricky" riding on my predictably, cantankerous gelding. Nikki started off one particular training session by expertly instructing me as I rode Junior in the arena. So far, so good, but as stated earlier, Junior is prone to impulsive behavior. My trainer then asked Kristy to mount Junior, because she wanted to challenge my boy in the yard without the benefit of the round pen fencing. Upon observing the open gate, my now anxious horse decided his school day was over and immediately after accepting Kristy on his back, headed towards the barn. Kristy cued otherwise and an argument ensued between horse and rider. It escalated into an all-out brawl and you can guess the rest.

A scramble for the phone followed by an invasion of flashing red lights and emergency personnel at Too Far Out Farm fooled Junior into thinking he was getting an early dismissal. To the credit of my highly esteemed trainer, Junior would not get his wish. In the midst of her family crisis and while the paramedics tended to her sister, Nikki telephoned her equally gifted horseman of a husband, JR to come give my horse a "spanking," which merely consisted of a firm, yet compassionate insistence on obeying the master. Now there is a fine example of family working together during a calamity! The job's not finished until the master proves his sovereignty.

The summer of 2009 was a season of brutal disappointment where Junior and I were concerned. My dream of transforming this horse into a suitable companion for the random Too Far Out Farm rider shattered along with Kristy's femur bone. My commitment to Junior waned, but love would not let me relent. I resolved that only I be allowed to trail ride him. He has given me many fine trail rides since the big wreck; well, parts of some of the rides were good. We respect one another. We enjoy one another. We listen to one another, but neither will obey the other. We don't need one another. Sometimes love means realizing that the relationship must exist outside of close personal, everyday contact. Junior's stubborn unpredictability beckons a new calling on his life. JR and Nikki began helping me find him a home with a rodeo.

When JR first proposed the rodeo circuit possibility for Junior, the question that immediately fell off my lips was, "Will he be happy doing that?" It was a no-brainer for my friend as he retorted, "Humph, he'd be doing what he wants to do and he won't get punished for it." Hmm, leave it to a man to point out the obvious to a love-sick, passion-driven woman.

I remember thinking, “I'll miss my rebellious teen-ager, but his purpose cannot be fulfilled by pushing him into a mold that just simply won't contain him. Junior needs to be free to kick up his heels, thrash about and snort loudly, but most importantly, be appreciated for his unbridled athleticism.” The sweet serenity of surrender comforted me as I almost let go of my equine friend.

JUNIOR BELONGS AT TOO FAR OUT FARM

April 1, 2011 - Horse Tale, continued - The drama took a new twist...
After much prayer and encouragement from friends, new and old, I determined that I'd be turning my back on God's plan for Junior in my life if I tried to sell him or otherwise give up on him. Although the prayers and encouragement caused me to reconsider my decision of saying goodbye to Junior, it was a pertinent scripture verse that convinced me to believe God regarding my horse rather than succumb to fear and doubt.

The verse I'm referring to is found in Leviticus 27:28: “But nothing that a man owns and devotes to the LORD whether man or animal or family land may be sold or redeemed; everything so devoted is most holy to the LORD.” The Lord first raised my awareness to Lev. 27:28 in early spring of 2009. So rewinding momentarily to April 2009... I was praying about next-steps for TFO Family Ministries at Too Far Out Farm when I ran across this verse and realized that the best place to start would be to dedicate the farm and everyone on it to the service of the Lord (“devotes to the LORD”). That realization would prove to be a real God thing as the next two years unfolded.

In May of 2009, we enlisted the services of a pastor friend of ours to formally devote our land and animals to the service of God at the First Annual “Day at the Farm” Open House. Now, fast forward to the 814-795-2686 winter of double unemployment and one minimal UE benefit check every other week as our only source of income. The thought entered our minds to turn tail and run from the financial obligations of maintaining four horses, four dogs, six cats, five angora rabbits, two people and a mortgage payment + utilities, cars, yayaya. Then Lev. 27:28 spoke to us in another way (“may NOT be sold or redeemed; everything so devoted is most holy to the LORD.”) When confronted with that truth, we decided to obey its unconventional wisdom. Imagine our surprise when God actually provided so no one at Too Far Out Farm went hungry and all the bills got paid - ALL WINTER LONG. Who can deny the glory of God when He accomplishes the impossible? Not me.

My faith is so frail, though... Even that miracle of God's provision did not convince me about Junior. I nearly forfeited another miracle by thinking the only resolution to the Junior issue was the rodeo. (See the Feb. 24, 2011 journal entry.) How dense am I?

Once again the words, “may NOT be sold or redeemed; everything so devoted is most holy to the LORD,” spoke to me in the eleventh hour and I decided not to sell my horse. By then, it was March 30, 2011. Two days later after deciding to obey God’s words, I won a $600, two-day place at a riding clinic in Franklin with a trainer that specializes in “troubled horses” absolutely free! I didn't even remember entering the contest (and maybe I didn't). Hmmm, why am I always so surprised when God comes through for me?

Be encouraged by this testimony, my friends. God cares about EVERY aspect of your life, EVERY moment of your life, EVERY single little detail - and the big ones too!!!

"Rejoice in hope, persevere in affliction and continue steadfastly in prayer." ~Romans 12:12

March 12, 2013 – Update
Since attending the Tara Jones clinic together two years ago, Junior and I have not had one violent argument – not even one heated disagreement. And we spend more time together than ever. It has been two years! We have come to an understanding. We know our places in one another's lives. We appreciate and respect each other.

Sometimes it goes that way in relationships. You have to endure the tough stuff and persist through the misunderstandings in order to get to the other side. Not many have done this with me. I can count them on one hand: Jesus, a couple horses, a small handful of Christian sisters and my current husband, Mike. But even when Mike and friends die and horses move on to greener pastures – God's grace remains and is sufficient. “Things which are seen are temporal...things which are not seen are eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:18

~ These are personal journal entries by Debbie Peterson regarding her relationship with her horse, Junior. Because he came from an auction house, Junior’s history is a mystery. We believe him to be a Quarter Horse gelding, now about eleven years old. He stands about 14.2 hands. More information about Junior and his job at our farm is available at: www.TooFarOutFarm.org (Click on the TFO Stable page.) © 2013 Debbie Peterson. All rights reserved.